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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26884834">honey please, please come through</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofarsoperfect/pseuds/sofarsoperfect'>sofarsoperfect</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coma, Emotional Rollercoaster, Fluff and Angst, Hospital Setting, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Parental Disapproval, multiple side pairings - Freeform, wedding fic, you're gonna be really sad and then you're gonna be really happy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:28:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,152</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26884834</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofarsoperfect/pseuds/sofarsoperfect</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When your life is going so well, you never imagine something like this could happen to you. No one ever does until it does and suddenly Johnny is running down the halls of a hospital at full speed, looking for his friends.</p><p>[...]</p><p>He takes Renjun’s hand in his and kisses the back of it. This morning plays over and over in his mind, him rushing around while Renjun looks on with a grin. He looked so happy then and then their kisses, the way they couldn’t stop kissing each other. Johnny turns his hand over and presses a kiss to the inside of his wrist, his pulse beating under his lips. He closes his eyes and he can still hear Renjun’s giggles, the warm weight of his arms around his neck this morning. His “I love you!” as Johnny was heading for the door. </p><p>In just a few hours so much has changed. </p><p>“I love you,” Johnny mumbles into his wrist. “I love you so much, baby. And I’ll be right here when you wake up, I promise.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>honey please, please come through</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>oh my god, it's been so long!!! this is what i hope will be my triumphant return to renjohn and giving you all the content you so deserve. this fic was supposed to be short and that did not happen so... here it is. i feel very good about it and about this ship and i hope you guys enjoy!</p><p>[big huge thank yous to everyone on twitter who supported me and loved me while i was out here doubting myself, i have a great support system and i love you guys &lt;3]</p><p>*title: heaven's gate - fall out boy<br/>*mildly beta'd</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A part of Johnny thinks Renjun actually kind of enjoys watching him run around like an idiot in the mornings before his shoots. He has all of Johnny’s essentials lined up on the kitchen island for him to grab on his way out, including a piece of toast and Johnny double, triple checks his camera bag before trying to wedge his sneakers on. He’s going to be late and Jaemin’s going to have to field this snippy little 17 year old’s questions about his whereabouts. Johnny is going to owe him lunch. </p><p>“I think I have everything,” he says, snatching his phone, wallet and keys from the kitchen island, taking a sip from his thermos. Perfectly pressed. What would he do without his fiance he still doesn’t know and he sets his cup down with a sigh, looking over at him. “I’ll see you later?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Renjun agrees with a little grin. “But I’m meeting with the bakery today to finalize the cake with Ten so I probably won’t be home until after five. You want me to pick up dinner?” </p><p>“I’ll make dinner,” Johnny says. He leans over the counter and kisses Renjun sweetly. “I’ve been meaning to try that new pasta recipe Kun gave me anyway. What do you think?” </p><p>“Sounds good,” Renjun agrees. He steals another kiss, causing Johnny to take another and they’re both leaning over the kitchen island trading kisses for far longer than they should. Renjun rests a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back a little. “You’re going to be late.” </p><p>“I’m already late,” Johnny replies, coming around the countertop to get to him. The camera bag lands on the floor and Johnny winds an arm around Renjun’s waist to kiss him again, the two of them giggling into each other’s mouths. “What’s another few minutes?” </p><p>“Jaemin’s gonna kill you,” Renjun warns but Johnny pays it no mind, lifting his opposite hand to cradle the back of Renjun’s head, kissing him longer, deeper. Renjun’s mug clatters on the kitchen island, arms wrapping around Johnny’s neck. They are absolutely wasting time, Johnny’s already running late but Renjun can’t help but agree. What’s another few minutes on Johnny’s lateness? </p><p>Renjun presses a few final and firm kisses to Johnny’s lips before pulling away. </p><p>“Get out of here before Jaemin starts taking the photos himself,” Renjun tells him. Johnny doesn’t think that’s the worst thing in the world considering he was their engagement photographer and will be taking all the photos of the wedding as well. He lets go of him anyway, pressing a couple final kisses to his lips, his forehead and his temple before picking his bag back up. “Have a good day. I love you!” Renjun calls as Johnny snatches his toast from the plate.</p><p>“I love you too. Take care getting to the bakery,” Johnny says before wedging the toast between his teeth. He just barely catches Renjun’s nod as he’s picking his mug back up. </p><p>“Of course.” </p><p> </p><p>When your life is going so well, you never imagine something like this could happen to you. No one ever does until it does and suddenly Johnny is running down the halls of a hospital at full speed, looking for his friends. He knows Kun was called, is still listed as an emergency contact both from when Renjun was in school and as his employer. Ten must be there as well, confirmed when he spots the both of them down the hall from the operation rooms. His heart stutters in his chest as he comes up to them, Kun’s hands up to stop him from running forward into the rooms ahead. </p><p>“Where is he?” Johnny asks, can’t contain himself. </p><p>“He’s in surgery,” Kun says and Johnny’s heart clenches. “They told me it’s his ankle, it’s a minor surgery but he’ll need reconstruction, probably physical therapy. He was out of it when they got there, he was talking but he wasn’t making any sense, all they heard was your name.” </p><p>“How much longer?” </p><p>“We don’t know,” Kun admits. “They came out about 15 minutes ago. Maybe another hour or so.” </p><p>“Yah!” Someone shouts from down the hall and Johnny winces. Of course they’re here right now, they had to call Renjun’s next-of-kin, Johnny notwithstanding without a marriage certificate, but it doesn’t make him feel any better, especially when she’s already on top of Johnny, poking him in the chest. “This is your fault! My son never had this many problems before you came along!” </p><p>“Mrs. Huang,” Kun interjects, trying to get between them. She’s nothing if not stubborn though, Renjun gets it from her, Johnny is certain. He flinches as she keeps stabbing her index finger into his chest. </p><p>“I told him not to date you, I told you not to date him, that this was a mistake! And now, weeks before your so-called marriage he’s in the hospital and none of us even know if he’ll be okay! Why couldn’t you just listen to me?” Johnny turns his face away and in the corner of his eye he can see the stern, angry look on Renjun’s father’s face. He’s always tried to intimidate Johnny, less words than his wife and more intimidating stature and expression, and now, of all times, it might actually be working.</p><p>“Please, Mrs. Huang, now really isn’t the time,” Kun pleads. “Please don’t do this.” </p><p>“Where is my son, Kun,” Renjun’s father finally speaks and Kun turns to him. </p><p>“In surgery, Mr. Huang. It’ll still be a little while yet. Why don’t we find a place to sit, you’ve probably come quite a ways,” Kun says, trying to placate them. They’ve always liked Kun, far more than they’ve liked Johnny and he manages to lead them away from the hallway. Johnny turns bodily towards the nondescript white hospital wall, closing his eyes against the welling of tears. </p><p>“They’re just upset,” Ten says softly, reaching for his friend. His fingers close gently around Johnny’s wrist, stepping closer to rest his opposite hand on Johnny’s back. “They’re scared, they’re lashing out because they don’t know if he’s okay. This isn’t your fault, how could it be?” </p><p>“Ever since we started dating everything has gone wrong,” Johnny rasps, voice thick with tears. His eyes open to look at Ten and he can barely see him, his eyes blurred with tears. Ten reaches out, wiping at his eyes with the end of his sleeve. “Our first date the kitchen caught fire, his parents hate me, we almost lost our apartment, twice, and when I started the photography studio we couldn’t stop fighting. And now, two months before our fucking wedding, he’s in the hospital in God knows what kind of condition. Maybe she’s right, maybe this was a mistake.” </p><p>“It’s not,” Ten says, fiercely. “All those things happened, yes, but you’re still together. You’re still happy and in love and you made it past all those bumps. They don’t define your relationship and this isn’t your fault. It was a freak accident on the bus for God’s sake, you couldn’t have caused this. Don’t blame yourself. He wouldn’t want that.” </p><p>“I just feel like… every time we finally get our footing, something else happens. And I don’t want that for him.” </p><p>“You are one of the best things that’s ever happened to him. He says it all the time,” Ten assures him, wiping at his cheeks, Johnny sniffling softly. “He loves you so much. Don’t forget that.” </p><p>It’s a grueling hour and a half before they can see him. He’s still out on drugs but he’s been put in a room. On Johnny’s request it’s a private room and the doctors allow one to two people in at a time. Johnny bows out for his parents to go first, figuring it might be the only thing he can do to get on their good sides right now. Renjun’s mother still side eyes him before she goes in. Not that she didn’t do that before. </p><p>When they leave Kun insists he go in on his own. Johnny almost declines but Kun can also be stubborn and so is Ten, both of them almost shoving him into the room. Johnny, admittedly, hesitates around the door for a period of time before he can work up the courage to approach the side of the bed. </p><p>Renjun looks so small in the hospital bed, tied up in wires to monitor his vitals. The doctors said they were going to keep an eye on him regarding head trauma as he wasn’t bleeding but he was swelling pretty decently below his temple on the right side, his forehead and cheek on that side littered with small superficial cuts. His right ankle is wrapped in gauze and resembling a pin cushion with the metal pins placed to stabilize the bones, suspended above the bed to keep it elevated. Johnny pulls a chair up next to him, sitting on his right side. </p><p>He takes Renjun’s hand in his and kisses the back of it. This morning plays over and over in his mind, him rushing around while Renjun looks on with a grin. He looked so happy then and then their kisses, the way they couldn’t stop kissing each other. Johnny turns his hand over and presses a kiss to the inside of his wrist, his pulse beating under his lips. He closes his eyes and he can still hear Renjun’s giggles, the warm weight of his arms around his neck this morning. His “I love you!” as Johnny was heading for the door. </p><p>In just a few hours so much has changed. </p><p>“I love you,” Johnny mumbles into his wrist. “I love you so much, baby. And I’ll be right here when you wake up, I promise.” </p><p>Johnny leaves the room when Kun and Ten go in, mostly because he can’t handle it. He still feels a little bit like he’s about to cry and he doesn’t even want to think about how empty the apartment is going to be. Renjun’s mug is probably still in the sink and his shoes are going to be littering the floor next to the door from him going through them this morning. Johnny doesn’t know what he was wearing when he went out today, hopefully it wasn’t his grey jacket. It was his favorite. </p><p>“Do you want to stay at mine?” Ten asks when he leaves the room and finds Johnny pacing the hall. Johnny turns abruptly to his best friend. “I know it’s not your apartment but I just figured it might be better, considering… y’know, everything,” Ten says. </p><p>“Yeah, okay,” Johnny agrees. “I just gotta… get a couple things.” </p><p>“Of course.” </p><p>The day has slipped away from them entirely. The sun is threatening to set on them when they leave the hospital. It’s past six and Johnny should’ve been making dinner by now. Johnny should’ve been able to open a bottle of white and make them both the cream pasta recipe Kun gave him last week and talk about the cake design Renjun and Ten decided on. This isn’t how tonight should’ve gone. </p><p>Johnny sleeps on Ten’s pull out couch but doesn’t actually sleep much at all. Spends most of the night turning over, tossing the blankets off, pulling them on, turning on his side, his stomach, his other side, staring at the ceiling. His mind is racing, thinking about his fiance in that hospital bed instead of safe in his arms and everything hurts. Johnny’s chest is aching and his head hurts and his limbs feel heavy with exhaustion but his mind just will not turn off. It’s all he can think about, Renjun and the way things have just gone so wrong so quickly. </p><p>He drags himself from his makeshift bed at seven the next morning and prays to whatever God that might be listening that Jaemin won’t ream him for calling at this hour. He makes drip coffee because he left his French Press at home, as if he actually has the energy to make it. He makes his call sipping the weak coffee and hoping his hands aren’t shaking. </p><p>Jaemin is far too understanding about everything, promises to handle everything until Renjun’s out of the hospital. Just like that kid, and there’s also the fact that he and Renjun are old friends. They went to college together, a couple of years below Johnny. He still can’t believe it when he thinks back on it, the fact that the spitfire boy that threatened to burn down the Social Studies hall because economics was ‘complete nonsense garbage built only for rich people to understand,’ is the man he wants to say ‘I do’ to in eight weeks. </p><p>Eight weeks. </p><p>“How you doing?” Ten asks gently, walking out of his bedroom. He’s got bedhead, red eyes and dark circles that say he didn’t sleep much either. No surprise there. He pours himself a cup of coffee, which is very unlike him, and drinks it black, wincing with every sip. </p><p>“When do visiting hours open?” Johnny asks. </p><p>“I’ll look it up.” </p><p>Visiting hours are at eight so in the less than an hour before they leave to go back to the hospital they make vague efforts to look like people. It’s a hospital so they don’t anticipate anyone there judging them for their haggard appearances but they figure the least they can do is not look awful. It kind of works out, especially when Johnny borrows an oversized denim jacket he isn’t 100% sure didn’t used to be his from Ten. </p><p>Kun and Yuta meet them there, holding a carrier of coffees. It’s a blessed sight when Johnny feels dead on his feet and they follow the nurse at the station’s direction back towards Renjun’s room in the long term stay wing. It still makes Johnny’s nerves prickle and nausea build in his stomach to even think about Renjun staying for a long period in the hospital but he’s hopeful that it won’t actually be that long. </p><p>The doctor, a sweet older gentleman who goes by Dr. Kim, gives them clearance for all of them to go in the room. Johnny asks for updates while the others move ahead but he only shakes his head. </p><p>“I’m afraid there’s nothing much to report. He’s doing well, vitals are all normal. We’re just waiting for the sedatives to wear off. He’s small and they might’ve given him a bit too much but that’s nothing to be worried about,” the doctor assures him and Johnny nods. “I’m certain he’ll wake up within the day and if not, tomorrow. He seems quite fine, otherwise.” </p><p>“Thank you, Dr. Kim, I appreciate that,” Johnny says and the doctor nods once before taking his leave. Johnny feels some of his nausea ease off from the doctor’s assurances of his fiance’s state and walks into the room. </p><p>Renjun still looks too small for Johnny’s comfort in that bed, eyes closed and sleeping peacefully. Johnny takes the seat left for him at Renjun’s right and takes his hand in both of his, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. </p><p>“So?” Kun asks, sipping his coffee. </p><p>“He said he’s doing well. Should wake up soon.” Tension slips from everyone else’s shoulders, Yuta squeezing Kun’s hand gently. Good news is such a relief and Johnny looks at Renjun, bringing his hand to his lips, brushing a kiss over his knuckles. He doesn’t react but Johnny feels comfort knowing Renjun is doing well. </p><p>Most of the day is spent in the hospital. Renjun’s parents show up again and Johnny makes himself scarce, going on a run to the cafeteria while Kun explains Renjun’s situation. Johnny feels bad that not even their son being in the hospital is enough for them to ease off on their dislike towards him and maybe he’s only making it worse by avoiding them but Johnny’s never been the kind to walk towards uncomfortable situations. Usually he can diffuse them but Renjun’s parents are tough nuts to crack. This might just be the better option, it always has before. </p><p>“Still on the outs with the ‘rents, huh?” Yuta asks, catching Johnny eating outside the hospital. He’s starting to understand why every hospital drama in the world insists the cafeteria food is awful. He just hopes no one tells Renjun when he wakes up that he’s eating McDonalds in the hospital parking lot. </p><p>“Always,” Johnny says, offering his fries, which Yuta takes a few of. “They just don’t like me. They never have. I can’t tell if it’s because I’m older, because I’m Korean or because I’m a man,” Johnny lays out for him, taking a bite of a chicken nugget. </p><p>“That sounds like a combo meal of yikes,” Yuta tells him and Johnny sighs, sipping his Sprite. “Hey, you can’t please everyone. Kun and I still haven’t told his parents and we’ve been dating for two years. You can’t expect everyone to like you, and sometimes those people are your significant other’s parents. Clearly that doesn’t bother Renjun.” </p><p>“No,” Johnny mumbles, pushing his nuggets around in the carton. “Renjun’s always been a realist, knowing that his parents weren’t going to like much of anything he might bring home. They’re very… traditional.” </p><p>“Oof,” Yuta replies, snatching another few fries. </p><p>“Yeah,” Johnny sighs. “But we’ve tried. I met them three times before they made it very clear they didn’t want me to see their son and they didn’t want to see me, ever. We still sent them a wedding invitation, though,” Johnny says and Yuta grimaces. “It was my idea. An olive branch, I guess.” </p><p>“Sounds like a kerosene lamp set to high.” </p><p>“It didn’t go over great,” Johnny admits and Yuta shakes his head with a laugh. “They called and ripped into Renjun about marrying a man, marrying someone so much older and doesn’t understand him. Renjun hasn’t spoken to them since. His mom gave me a good earful yesterday though.” </p><p>“Yeah, Kun was pretty torn up about it when he got home,” Yuta says. “Honestly, that was unfair of her. I mean, even if I did hate my son’s fiance, that’s insult to injury, for real. That was fucked up. And it’s not your fault,” Yuta tells him pointedly. Johnny bites into a nugget to save himself from replying. “This was all a complete freak accident. Renjun is not the only person who got hurt on that bus and there is no way you could’ve caused that. And to act like you had anything to do with it, was not just unfair, it was straight up crazy.” </p><p>“She’s right about one thing. Renjun’s never had a string of bad luck like we have.” </p><p>“So what,” Yuta replies immediately. “Shit happens. It’s not you two, it’s just shit. Sometimes the universe is like that. You didn’t do anything except love the hell outta that guy. Don’t take what she says to heart. Everyone has bad things happen to them, you’re not any different than anyone else. And you’ve made it this far.” </p><p>“I just want to make it to the altar,” Johnny admits, turning to look at his friend. Yuta rubs a hand over Johnny’s shoulders with a sad smile. </p><p>“You will. I swear it.” </p><p>Rather than spend another sleepless night on Ten’s couch (he’d rather be restless in his own bed, thank you very much), Johnny goes home. The apartment feels emptier than normal and he doesn’t linger when he drops his bag off, having run to Ten’s while Renjun’s parents were in, clearly hanging around both to spite Johnny and spend as much time as possible with their son. When he returns he spends the rest of the evening at Renjun’s side. </p><p>The evening also brings a revolving door of his and Renjun’s friends, Jaemin and his boyfriends, Yangyang and Sungchan, eek into the room as well as Jisung and Chenle. Sicheng stops by with Jaehyun, Doyoung and Taeyong trailing in after them. Taeil picks Ten up around seven, rubbing the back of Johnny’s shoulder gently. Their friend group is massive and sprawling, tangled up in each other in strange ways. Jeno peers into the room with a bouquet of geraniums, coral roses and sweet basil, his boyfriend Dejun, whom Renjun introduced him to, clinging to his back. Johnny doesn’t know what any of the flowers mean but the card is signed by all of Renjun’s school mates and sits pretty on his bedside table. </p><p>“Hey,” Mark says, leaning in the room. Johnny snorts when he looks over, Guanheng and Yukhei looming over him like a couple of well-meaning shadows. He’s surprised to see Donghyuck not with them but he can only assume he’s back home with his and Yukhei’s daughter. No reason she should see her godfather like this. They also have flowers, however, and a couple of cards. Johnny waves them in. The flowers land on the bedside table, Guanheng gently making space on the table next to Jeno’s. These are red carnations and multicolored peonies. They’re very pretty and Yukhei puts the cards down next to Jeno’s as well. </p><p>“How’s he doing?” Mark asks. Xuxi reaches for Renjun’s other hand, Johnny still stationed at his right side as he has been all evening.</p><p>“The doctors are optimistic,” Johnny summarizes. “Should wake up soon.” </p><p>“That’s good,” Guanheng says with a grin. “Besides, you know Renjun. Nothing keeps him down long.” </p><p>“Of course,” Johnny agrees with a soft smile. “Thanks for coming by.” </p><p>Johnny doesn’t leave until a nurse informs him that visiting hours are over. His thank you is almost too soft to be heard and she leaves his side to wait at the door for him while he says his goodbyes for the evening. Johnny lingers for a few moments, kissing Renjun’s knuckles, the inside of his wrist, before setting his hand down back by his side. </p><p>He’s still asleep so Johnny can only assume he’ll wake up tomorrow. Maybe even be awake when he returns in the morning, he’s hopeful. He presses a kiss to Renjun’s forehead gently, thumbing the roundness of his cheek for a moment before kissing him once more. </p><p>“I love you, baby,” he murmurs before pulling away. Renjun is as unresponsive as he has been, breathing slow and deep. Johnny leaves his side reluctantly and the nurse waves a hand, gesturing for him to go first. She closes the door gently behind them, walking Johnny back towards the main lobby. </p><p>Will we see you again tomorrow?” The nurse asks politely, standing by the side of the desk. </p><p>“Yes,” Johnny answers. </p><p>“We’ll see you tomorrow then, Mr…?” </p><p>“Suh. Johnny is fine, though.” </p><p>“See you tomorrow then, Johnny.” </p><p>The apartment still doesn’t feel right, it probably won’t until Renjun comes home. It feels too big and empty. Johnny wanders through it as though seeing it for the first time since they moved in, all the places that Renjun has colored. His studio door is ajar and Johnny pushes it the rest of the way open. The piece he’s been working on is covered with a sheet. He kept telling Johnny it was a surprise for the wedding. Johnny stares at the while sheet for a long time before turning and leaving, the door left ajar. </p><p>Renjun’s mug is still in the sink, as is the plate that he put Johnny’s toast on. Mundane little objects but a couple of the last things Renjun touched before leaving the apartment. Johnny takes account of the coat rack and the shoes, his grey jacket is still here and his oxfords but his Chelsea boots and denim jacket are missing. Johnny will be replacing those then, God knows where they might’ve ended up after the accident. </p><p>He goes through his normal nightly routine but it’s awkward, silted. It’s missing all the places Renjun would fit in and he takes a shower with one of his Spotify playlists going as loud as possible. It does a poor job of drowning out the sound of Renjun’s tenor singing along with the words in his head but it’s all he has. </p><p>Johnny doesn’t even turn on the radio, every song sure to remind him of his missing fiance. The bed is too big, too empty, a massive California King because Johnny’s just too long but it feels all the bigger without Renjun to share it with. It’s better than Ten’s awful couch but not by much. </p><p>It’s another restless night but at least this time he feels comfortable getting out of bed, walking the length of his apartment. It’s not going to help but he makes himself herbal tea and sits down at his piano. It’s not much of a piano, just a keyboard really so he doesn’t lose his touch with the keys. His mixer isn’t far from him but he rolls up the cover from the keys and settles in, fingers resting lightly on the keys. </p><p>It’s a silly little tick but music always manages to make him feel better and he tests a few notes on the keyboard, gently. It’s in tune and he plays out the beginning of Once Upon a December, a piece that he’s played only about a thousand times, becoming the piece of his high school years whenever he had to do a recital. It’s a familiar tune but he reaches out for his tea after a moment and views the sheet music still up on his stand. </p><p>It’s for Kevin Kern’s Le Jardin. It’s been a bit of a bear to memorize but he can only assume it’s mostly due to the length. He sets his tea aside again and unfolds the papers, laying all of the song out in front of him. His fingers find the first notes and he begins playing. </p><p>He’s never been especially adept at playing by ear but he loses himself shortly. With his eyes closed he knows he’s missed a few notes but he’s mostly improvising right now anyway. The exact order of the notes mean next to nothing when it’s just the music he’s focused on, the sound of the notes, clear and melodious drifting through the air around him. It settles a racing in his chest, the nerves and the nausea he’s had since that fateful call. </p><p>With his eyes closed, he can imagine Renjun is in the apartment with him. He comes to mind immediately, the way he’s always stood in the doorway of Johnny’s office, watching him play for a period of time before approaching. Johnny can picture him coming closer, can almost feel the warm weight of his fiance’s arms around his neck, lips brushing his cheek and his jaw as he holds him. </p><p>His fingers come to a standstill on the keyboard and his eyes open.</p><p>The apartment is still much too empty. His tea is going cold and it’s well past three in the morning. He ought to at least try and get some sleep before he goes into the hospital in the morning. Renjun’s supposed to be waking up soon, the last thing he’ll want to see is his fiance looking a mess. Johnny carefully covers his keyboard once more, drinks the rest of his lukewarm tea and heads back to bed. </p><p>Sleep still doesn’t come easily but he tries. For Renjun’s sake. </p><p>He feels a little less awful than he did the day before and shows up to the hospital bright and early, this time with his own bouquet of flowers. There’s a different nurse there from last night but she greets and directs him all the same. Kun and Ten had to go back to work so it’s just Johnny and he walks into the room with his flowers in a pretty glass vase. Renjun looks just the same as he did last night and Johnny gets closer, setting his flowers down on the empty bedside table. </p><p>It is, perhaps, a little too big but the girl at the store was very kind and excited to make Johnny a bouquet for his fiance. There are lavender English roses and pink wax flowers, sprigs of lavender and cream stock flowers. It’s all a bit much to look at but it is dazzling and Johnny likes the way all the flowers in the room make it seem a bit brighter. He settles down in his usual seat, taking Renjun’s hand in his. </p><p>“Good morning, my love,” Johnny greets him softly. “I see you are still being a bit of a sleeping beauty but that’s alright. I suppose that just means I will certainly be here when you wake up, hm?” He presses a kiss to the back of Renjun’s hand. “I love you.” </p><p>The day passes much as it did yesterday, except that this time Johnny is alone. It’s a little more lonely but Ten and Jaemin and Kun all stop in on their lunch hours, leaving well wishes. Renjun’s parents show up and Johnny excuses himself to give them privacy. Renjun’s mother is still icy to him, watching him critically as he leaves the room. Just as one might expect. </p><p>He gets himself lunch, something a little healthier than yesterday and returns to the room as the doctor shows up, the four of them all convening in the middle of Renjun’s room. </p><p>“Oh, he’s still asleep?” The doctor says, sounding genuinely confused. </p><p>“Yes,” Johnny replies immediately. “I was going to ask you about that, actually. He’s supposed to be waking up today, isn’t he?”</p><p>“I would think he would already be awake,” the doctor informs him and Johnny tilts his head while a crease forms in Renjun’s mother’s brow. Dr. Kim pulls up his vitals on his iPad immediately, scrolling through them while continuing to glance at Renjun’s sleeping form. The moments he’s looking are tense and when he’s done he sighs, lowering it a bit. “I’m sorry, I just… I suppose I don’t understand. All of his readings are normal, vitals, brain activity. I would think he would be awake already.” </p><p>“Is that cause for concern?” Renjun’s father asked. </p><p>“Not yet,” the doctor tells him, turning towards him. “It’s not uncommon for it to take longer than expected for someone to wake up from a medically induced state of unconsciousness. It could be the sedatives or his own fatigue, he is rather small for his age.” Renjun’s mother shifts awkwardly. “It’s nothing worth being worried about as of yet. But I’ll keep a closer eye on his vitals. Hopefully, he’ll be up soon.” </p><p>‘Hopefully’ rings through Johnny’s head ominously. He turns to look at Renjun, quickly crossing the room to get to his side. HIs chest continues to rise and fall steadily, face peaceful, heart monitor beeping consistently. He looks just as if Johnny were to find him in their bed, deeply asleep, comfortable. He reaches for him, curling his fingers around Renjun’s hand gently. His fingers find the place where his pulse beats on the inside of his wrist, steady and grounding. </p><p>Renjun’s parents take their leave almost as soon as the doctor. Johnny settles down next to Renjun once more, bringing the back of Renjun’s hand to his lips again. </p><p>The evening comes and brings his friends with it. Kun is still wearing his suit from the gallery when he shows up and Ten’s got his hair and face all done up still from a shift at the salon. Kun deposits a bag of food on the table in front of the sofa and sets his jacket down on the couch. There’s a crease in his brow and Johnny already knows what he’s about to ask. </p><p>“The doctor doesn’t know,” Johnny says to the room as a whole and Ten breathes in sharply, resting a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “I mean I can’t expect them to know everything but… he’s genuinely as confused as we are, said he should be awake already.” </p><p>“Is he worried?” Kun asks, coming to the foot of Renjun’s bed. </p><p>“Not yet,” Johnny says but the words are bitter, the implication of ‘yet’ heavy on his mind. “He said this isn’t uncommon.” </p><p>“Then don’t worry,” Ten tells him and Johnny finally raises his gaze from Renjun to look at his friends. Kun has a gentle smile on his face and Ten is looking at him reassuringly. Sometimes he doesn’t know what he would do without these two. Ten rubs his hand over his shoulder before letting his hand fall away. “C’mon, you should eat something,” Ten insists. </p><p>“Alright,” Johnny agrees, getting up from his seat to sit with them at the table.</p><p>“Give it another day or so,” Kun says, unfolding the top of the paper bag. “You know Renjun. I’m sure he’ll be awake soon.” </p><p> </p><p>Another day turns into two and then three and then it has suddenly been a week since the accident and Renjun is still asleep. The minor abrasions on his face are healing well and the nurses don’t think they will scar, and if they do they won’t be too dark. His ankle is still suspended, his vitals are all still normal and his brain activity steady. He breathes without a machine, his heart rate is steady and the doctors are at a loss. It grates on Johnny’s nerves, that no one seems to be able to pinpoint what is causing his fiance to still be unconscious. </p><p>The wedding plans press forward, crushing Johnny under the weight of it all. Between he and Ten they attempt to handle things that need planning immediately and try to push off things that don’t. With Renjun still out, even if their wedding is only seven weeks out, they choose not to make any big decisions. Most have already been done but there are things they want finalized. </p><p>With every passing day that Renjun is still unresponsive Johnny wonders if he’ll be able to finalize any of these plans. </p><p>The doctors have finally started calling Renjun’s state a coma, or coma-like. They can’t confirm or deny if the state he’s in is comatose but they’ve been suggesting it, as though hesitant, around Johnny, and Renjun’s parents. The word makes Johnny want to shut down, puts him on edge. A coma can be a very permanent state or it could be short term but it’s hard for doctors to even be able to tell which one it is. Johnny leaves the hospital a week after Renjun’s accident like he’s in a trance, falling into the couch in his apartment feeling like everything has been drained out of him. </p><p>The following day he gets a call from his mother. He’s in the hospital, he always is these days, and he rushes out to the lobby to answer it. There’s no real reason she should be calling but as soon as he’s answering his phone he’s hearing her voice both through the phone and through the main lobby of the hospital. He looks up to see his tiny mother rushing towards him, wrapping him up in a tight hug as soon as she gets to him. </p><p>“Mama!” Johnny says, the word punched out of him in surprise. She squeals softly, rocking him side to side. Johnny wraps his arms around her shoulders, hugging her tightly in reply. When he looks over his mother’s head he sees his father catching up to them, walking at a much more relaxed pace and a smile on his face. God, Johnny could cry right then and there. </p><p>“John-ah!” His mother goes on, pulling away to kiss his cheeks. Johnny lets her, laughing softly as she pats his arms. “And just what were you thinking!” She says abruptly, smacking him in the bicep. Johnny startles, clutching his arm as he pulls away from his mom. She hits a hell of a lot harder than her stature might suggest. “Not calling, not telling us that our future son-in-law is in the hospital and unresponsive of all things!” She goes on, Johnny grimacing uncomfortably. </p><p>“Yeobo, don’t be so hard on him, I’m sure he’s had a lot on his mind lately,” his dad intercepts. “What with the wedding and all,” he says and Johnny’s eyes fall to the floor. “Hey, it’s okay. But Ten called-” </p><p>“Ten,” Johnny scoffs. “I can’t tell that guy anything without him getting you two involved.” </p><p>“Someone had to,” Johnny’s mom tells him. “C’mon then, let’s not stand out here. We would like to see him,” she says and Johnny wraps an arm around his mother’s shoulders, directing her down the hall. His father is a half step behind them, of course, and his mom wraps her arm around his middle to squeeze him a bit. “Johnny, you could’ve told us.” </p><p>“I didn’t want you to come all this way. I can’t imagine how inconvenient this was, getting a plane out here, and you probably already had one booked what with the wedding and everything-” </p><p>“You know we’d come out here in a second if you asked, it’s what we’re for,” his dad says and Johnny glances back, a sad smile on his lips. “Ten said he’s been out for a while.”</p><p>“Over a week,” Johnny mumbles, getting a soft coo from his mother, rubbing his side. “I really didn’t think I’d have to call you. It was all so simple, the doctors made it seem that way anyway. I didn’t think he’d be here so long.” </p><p>“Well there’s no reason to be so strong anymore, honey, we’re here,” his mom tells him, patting his hip gently as they make it down to his room. “We’ll always be here to catch you, alright? It’s okay to be a little vulnerable sometimes.” </p><p>“Thanks, mama.” </p><p>The minute they’re in the room Johnny sees the realization of everything showing up in his mom’s eyes. She goes teary eyed immediately and there’s no stopping her from going to Renjun’s bedside. Johnny hangs back, letting his parents get close to Renjun. He’s still just the same as he was when Johnny first saw him in the bed, too small and helpless, so foreign in comparison to the boldness of his personality. It’s a wonderful thing, knowing his parents love his fiance so much, treat him like their own son, but it makes his heart wrench in his chest seeing them seeing him like this. </p><p>“A week?” His mom asks, lifting his head to look at Johnny, hand holding Renjun’s tightly. Johnny nods. “Oh, honey. And the doctors?” </p><p>“They don’t know,” Johnny admits. “They keep saying he should wake up whenever but he just… he hasn’t. They’re running some blood tests and want to schedule a CT and an MRI this week if he’s still out,” Johnny explains. “The doctor has some theories but… that’s all they are.” </p><p>“Oh,” she sighs, looking back at him. Johnny’s dad rests a hand on Renjun’s leg, squeezing softly. Johnny swallows awkwardly, looking at the floor. </p><p>“When did you get in?” Johnny asks, trying to change the topic. </p><p>“Oh, uh… maybe 20 minutes ago. We came straight here,” his dad says and Johnny’s eyes widen. “It was important. And don’t worry, we’re staying at a hotel not far from here. Ten gave us a hand.” Johnny doesn’t know whether he wants to thank his best friend from the bottom of his heart or strangle him. It’s a feeling Johnny has come accustomed to since befriending Ten. </p><p>“Do you guys want to get something to eat or… something?” Johnny asks delicately. </p><p>“It’s okay, John. Thank you, though,” his mom says. Johnny nods. He looks at the clock on the wall. He has only half an hour before Renjun’s parents show up. It’s always 11 a.m. on the dot. Only another half an hour before this place possibly becomes a blast site. </p><p>He tries the best that he can to enjoy his parents being there. His mother comments on the flowers, the ones from Mark and Guanheng having been thrown out already but Jeno replaced his, this one with also sporting geranium but it comes with carnations mixed in with the sweet basil instead. Johnny’s is doing it’s best but it’s starting to wilt pretty bad. He’ll have to replace it soon. The cards are sweet and Kun’s placed a corkboard on the coffee table for little notes and cards and it’s starting to fill, and that’s not including the cards on Renjun’s bedside tables. </p><p>They have a pretty big circle of friends. Their wedding is going to be an absolute mess with how big their guest list is. </p><p>“Well, at least all the hard things are already booked,” his mother says, sitting in the chair on the opposite side of Renjun, Johnny’s dad leaning against the chair, arm resting lightly around his wife’s shoulders. “The wedding should be much easier to finalize now, right?” </p><p>“I… guess. Technically,” Johnny says, stroking his thumb over the back of Renjun’s hand. “I dunno, there’s just so much left to finish and without Renjun… I started thinking about postponing it.” </p><p>“Really?” She asks, voice pitching up. His mom clears her throat and Johnny offers her a sad smile. “Johnny, I know things seem bleak but it’s only been a week. He could wake up tomorrow.” </p><p>“Isn’t that what everyone always says,” Johnny replies, getting a frown from his parents. “I’m just trying to be realistic. I know he could wake up any day but if he doesn’t… I just think this is best. For both of us. And it’s not like I’d be cancelling anything I’ll just have to…” he trails off, struggling for words. “Fanagle things, I guess.” He grimaces before looking back at Renjun. “I just don’t want him to feel rushed when he does wake up.” </p><p>“If you think that’s what’s best,” his dad says, Johnny lifting his gaze back to them, “then you should do that.” </p><p>“Thanks, appa,” Johnny tells him, voice soft. </p><p>“Oh,” someone says at the doorway and Johnny turns to look. He keeps his face carefully blank, looking at the people in the doorway. Renjun’s parents are back and his mother looks nothing short of annoyed to see her son’s room already full of people. “I didn’t know Renjun was expecting so many visitors today.” </p><p>“He wasn’t. Mr. and Mrs. Huang, these are my parents. They showed up this morning on a surprise visit to see Renjun,” Johnny explains delicately. “Eomma, Appa, these are Renjun’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Huang,” Johnny explains to them and realization dawns in Johnny’s mom’s eyes before her eyes harden and his dad squeezes his wife’s shoulder gently.</p><p>“Nice to meet you,” his mother says, getting to her feet. His parents taught him all the merits of being polite but his mother is clearly forcing politeness as she greets Renjun’s parents. Johnny never intended for them to dislike one another but it was hard for Johnny to lie to his parents. He told them the truth always and the truth was, Renjun’s parents never liked him. And if his parents were anything, they were loyal to their only son. </p><p>“You as well,” Mrs. Huang says shortly. “If you don’t mind we’d like some time alone with our son.” Johnny’s mom bristles but they take their leave, Johnny bowing deeply before also leaving the room. They take Johnny’s seat at their son’s side and Johnny shuts the door to the hospital room gently. </p><p>“Her son is in the hospital and she’s treating his fiance like that?” Johnny’s mom says as soon as they start walking down the hall. </p><p>“Mama,” Johnny groans. </p><p>“It’s just rude, John. She has no business.” </p><p>“C’mon, yeobo, let it go. It’s clear Youngho doesn’t want to talk about it,” Johnny’s dad tries to pacify her and she looks at her son, Johnny’s hands in his pockets, head hung low. She reaches out to rub his back gently. She can truly only imagine what Johnny must be feeling right now, so despite wanting to start a proper argument with those terrible people Renjun calls his parents, she’ll let it slide. </p><p>“Well, let’s at least get lunch then, if we’re being kicked out,” she suggests and Johnny offers her a shy smile. </p><p>Everything feels like it sits at a delicate balance, threatening to break apart the longer Renjun is unconscious. Johnny goes into the studio and Jaemin is there, a gentle smile and even softer reassurances everything is fine, all but pushing Johnny back out. He’s in the hospital and he’s with Renjun, or being kicked out of his own damn fiance’s room or being told vague explanations by the doctors. He doesn’t want to spend time with his friends, all of them walking on eggshells around him. He tries to let his parents carry some of his weight but he’s in his early thirties, he’s an adult, he just doesn’t feel comfortable anymore. And then there’s the wedding weighing heavily on his mind at every turn. </p><p>He figures, when it happens, it was only just a matter of time. </p><p>Ten and Johnny have been working with their wedding planner as long as Renjun has been in the hospital. Johnny and Renjun were both extremely involved in the wedding planning from the beginning but they brought Ten onto the team early on as well because he’s always had an eye for things like this, something Johnny and Renjun just don’t have the same sense about. The wedding planner herself is a kind woman, just a year Johnny’s senior named Wendy and really has her shit together. Johnny respects the hell out of her and she’s been a blessing, especially since everything that’s happened. </p><p>It happens just about two weeks after Renjun’s accident. Renjun is still in the hospital, unconscious, and Johnny is blindsided in his apartment early in the day. He ran home to get some memory cards from a few cameras and was planning to drop them off in the studio on his way back to the hospital but he opens the door and Wendy is standing there, hand already raised to knock. </p><p>“Oh, Johnny! I honestly wasn’t sure you’d be in,” she says. </p><p>“I was just dropping by to get a few things. You need help?” He asks, looking at her full arms. </p><p>“Oh goodness, a little help would be great,” she admits and Johnny offers his open arms to take some of her things. She’s got her usual bag with her, in which she carries her massive binder with all the little details of the Huang-Suh wedding as it’s been so carefully penned everywhere, from their invites to their itineraries. But in her arms are a couple of long plastic bags, hangers sticking out the top of them. Johnny takes them from her and Wendy shakes her arms out, Johnny bringing them inside to hang them on the coat rack. He gestures for Wendy to come in but she only waves a hand, shaking her head. </p><p>“Can’t stay, still a lot to do. Just thought I should drop those off. Just came in, fresh off the sewing machines and thought you might want them in the house. I know Renjun’s not in but… y’know,” she says delicately and Johnny looks at the bags again, chewing on his lower lip. </p><p>“Right. Thanks, Wendy,” he says, throat suddenly closing up on him. “Uhm, you’ll let me know if you need me, right?” </p><p>“Of course. And if you’ve thought more about it, the uh… postponement, don’t be afraid to say something, okay?” She says gently. Johnny nods with a sad smile. “Alright. Have a good day, Johnny.” </p><p>“You as well.” </p><p>Rather than head out Johnny closes the door while Wendy turns to go. He takes a deep breath, staring at the wood grain of his apartment door for a period of time before he can bring himself to turn and look at the bags. Now it’s obvious they’re dry cleaning bags and he picks them both up with shaky hands. </p><p>They land on the couch, side by side. The rule is that the groom isn’t meant to see the bride’s dress until the wedding, it’s bad luck, but Johnny only hesitates for a second before he’s pulling the zipper down on Renjun’s suit. They’re both men so he doesn’t know that the rule applies anyway. He can tell it’s Renjun’s not because it’s smaller, the plastic bags are the same size, but because they’re translucent and he drags the zipper down on the bag hiding a white suit inside. </p><p>It’s a pristine white, so beautiful and clean looking. They didn’t get to see each other’s fittings, Ten was very adamant about it even if he did go to both. Johnny tears up at the sight of it. Renjun is going to look so beautiful in it. They got their suits tailored to fit perfectly, Johnny can already imagine how slim it’ll make his waist look, the snug fit around his hips and thighs. There’s lace detailing on the lapels, a little over the top but Renjun has always had a knack for making just about anything look good. Renjun already told him he’s wearing a black shirt because Ten insisted on the white suit and Johnny thumbs at the lace detailing gently, choking a sob. </p><p>He lands on the floor next to the couch and can’t control the way his body is wracked with sobs. It’s rare he ever feels this terrible, ever cries this hard but he just doesn’t know what to do anymore. Everything they had planned, their whole lives, his whole goddamn world, it lies in a hospital bed without a single sign of waking up. </p><p>It all comes crashing down around him, reality. He’s been doing his best to keep a brave face but he’s never felt so alone. He’s never felt so in over his head, the wedding and his studio and the apartment, this big accident that feels so fucking impossible but it happened to them. He can’t help but feel like this always happens to them. </p><p>And then he thinks about Renjun’s parents, how much they hate him, how much they blame him for what’s happened to Renjun and it’s a fresh wave of tears spilling over his cheeks. Nothing he does will ever be enough for them and that’s never bothered him before but what else is he supposed to do? Now it’s just him and them and all their side eyes and snide comments and what if Renjun doesn’t wake up. It’s a terrible thing to think about but God, what if? </p><p>As he sits on the floor all Johnny can think about is that he misses his fiance. It really all boils down to how fucking lonely he feels. He’s never felt so alone, trying to navigate everything they’re built together. He misses mornings drinking coffee and sharing giggly kisses. He misses grabbing quick lunches when Renjun can slip from the gallery between Johnny’s shoots. He misses dinners with wine and talking about their days. Everything about the wedding has been awful and stressful but it’s been doable with the love of his life by his side and now that it’s just him and his best friend he feels… empty. </p><p>When his sobs finally peter out he’s left on the floor of his apartment, hiccuping and the ends of his sleeves wet. Johnny lifts his eyes to the ceiling, taking a deep breath, or trying to through his post-sob hiccups. His chest hurts, his head and his eyes and his limbs feel heavy. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and looks at it for a long time before texting the only person he can think of. </p><p>Taeyong storms his apartment in no less than fifteen minutes and finds Johnny exactly where he was when he texted him. Johnny looks at him with red rimmed eyes and a defeated look on his face, arms flopping down onto the floor next to him. Taeyong gets down on the floor with him, hugging his best friend so tightly, arms around his shoulders and hushing him softly as Johnny sniffles into his neck. </p><p>“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Johnny mumbles. </p><p>“It’s okay, Johnny. Sometimes that happens. It’s okay to not know,” He cooes. Taeyong pulls away and wipes the tears on his best friend’s face. “You gotta get up, though, okay? You can’t stay on the floor, babe.” </p><p>“Okay,” Johnny agrees, voice tiny. </p><p>Taeyong helps him to his feet and directs him out of the living room and into his bedroom. He strips Johnny down and puts him to bed, taking the memory cards from Johnny’s pockets and setting them aside to run down to the studio for him. Johnny climbs between the blankets and Taeyong gets up into the bed with him, pulling Johnny into his chest. </p><p>“What happened, baby?” Taeyong asks, running his fingers through Johnny’s hair. </p><p>“Our wedding suits came in,” Johnny mumbles. “Wendy dropped them off. And I- I couldn’t stop myself, I had to see. And it was like… the room was closing in on me. I couldn’t breathe, I just felt so… alone. I never felt so alone, Taeyong. I really fucking miss him.” </p><p>“I know,” Taeyong whispers, kissing his temple gently. “I know you do. It’s okay to miss him. And it’s okay to break down, Johnny. You love him, you love him more than I’ve ever seen you love someone. It’s okay to feel like this, normal even. You don’t always have to be so strong.” </p><p>“I just feel like I have to. Like, if I’m not who’s going to be?” Johnny asks and Taeyong hugs him tight, rubbing his back. </p><p>“We’re here for you, Johnny. It’s okay to lean on us. I know we all say that so much but… it’s true. I know things are scary, I know you’re terrified and worried and have no idea what’s about to happen to him but letting yourself spiral and take on all this pressure isn’t going to help you,” Taeyong tells him. He pulls away to wipe at Johnny’s cheeks again, a few more tears having escaped. “We’re here for you, no matter what. And you have to believe it’s all going to be okay.” </p><p>“I’m trying. It’s just so hard.” </p><p>“I know it is. So don’t worry about having a brave face all the time, you don’t have to, Johnny. That’s what we’re here for.” </p><p>In the following days Johnny tries to take Taeyong’s advice. He thinks more seriously about the idea of postponing the wedding, even mentions the idea to Ten, who grimaces but doesn’t disagree. Maybe he’s not the only one who doesn’t like the realism of it, putting something so big and massive on hold. He doesn’t know what else to do though and they’re running out of time before they have to cancel it altogether and that… he doesn’t even want to think about that. </p><p>He picks himself up and cleans up the apartment, putting the dishes that he was hesitant to touch in the washer because two weeks really is too long to let Renjun’s mug sit in the sink. It feels like closure, acceptance and it tastes about as bitter as it does sweet when he closes the dishwasher and hits start. </p><p>He finally lets his parents into the apartment, the wedding suits hidden in the back of the closet and the living room sprayed liberally with Febreeze, the air stale without Johnny being in it much lately. It takes more effort than he cares to admit to let himself be away from Renjun for the evening. His mother talks while she takes over his entire kitchen while his father only gets a few words in every once and awhile, which is generally how his parents always converse. His mother has always been the one with more to say than his father. </p><p>Needless to say, he takes after her. </p><p>It’s Thursday, it’s been almost three weeks since Renjun’s accident and Johnny sits by his fiance’s side as he usually does, but today he has his laptop in his lap, an ankle resting on his knee while he attempts to readjust his calender one handed, the other still holding Renjun’s. He and Wendy are planning on making the calls to the bakery and the venue on Monday about moving the wedding date around. They don’t know how expensive the fees will be nor when they’ll reschedule the date for and also there’s the whole situation of informing everyone. </p><p>Johnny isn’t looking forward to it. Renjun always wanted a fall wedding. Maybe they’ll just move it to next fall. That’s gonna be awful but at least maybe they’ll be able to book the same date and everyone can just overlook the wrong year on the invitations. A whole year… his mind lingers on whether Renjun will even be awake in time for that one. And then quickly dismisses it. </p><p>He’s so caught up in his email he almost misses it, the gentle pressure around his fingers. His free hand freezes on the keyboard and his eyes remain on the screen, looking but not seeing. He waits. </p><p>His thumb is resting against Renjun’s knuckles, stroking back and forth every once in a while, fingers curled under Renjun’s fingers. It happens again, the feeling of his fingers being squeezed softly and his head snaps to the bed, looks to where Renjun is lying in bed. Johnny can see his features moving minutely, as though struggling to wake up and Johnny shuts his laptop, setting it on the bedside table, barely fitting on it beside the newest vase of flowers Johnny has bought. He moves his hand to thread their fingers together and Renjun squeezes his fingers, eyes squinting open only to snap shut again almost immediately. </p><p>“Renjun?” Johnny says softly. </p><p>Renjun merely moans but it’s the only sound Johnny’s heard him say in almost three weeks, more than enough to have him almost in tears. He blinks his eyes open again and squints up, turning his head to look at Johnny. His lips are pinched into a frown and his eyes are barely open. </p><p>“Too bright,” He groans, words raspy, almost too soft to be heard. </p><p>“The lights? They’re too bright?” Johnny asks and Renjun nods, just a little. Johnny goes to dim them but Renjun holds fast to his hand. </p><p>“No,” he mumbles. </p><p>“I’m just turning down the lights, okay?” Johnny assures him. He presses a kiss to Renjun’s forehead before untangling their fingers. </p><p>He resists the urge to sprint to the lights, just briskly walking the short distance and shutting off the second set of lights in the room. It’s still bright because they’re hospital fluorescents, possibly the brightest lights in the world, it seems. Johnny’s left the hospital with his fair share of headaches in just the past three weeks alone, he can only imagine how much they must be hurting Renjun’s eyes, so sensitive from his weeks of unconsciousness. He makes quick work of returning to Renjun’s side, threading their fingers together again. He presses the button for the nurse before sitting back down. </p><p>“Better?” Johnny asks softly. Renjun nods. “Okay.” Johnny lifts Renjun’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. Renjun still looks out of it, groggy and confused with sleep but it’s almost cute. Reminds Johnny of Renjun when he’s sleep rumpled on his days off, pouty and tired. </p><p>Now that he finally has the chance again, he never wants to stop looking at Renjun’s eyes. It makes him wonder if he ever truly cherished it as much as he should’ve. They’re so dark, the darkest shade of brown, so big and sparkly. They’re a little duller than normal with sleep and hazy from just waking up but still so beautiful. He hopes he never forgets how this feels, never does something as stupid as take Renjun for granted because this is the most alive he’s felt in weeks. </p><p>“Is something- oh,” Yerim, the nurse in charge of Renjun, says. Renjun turns to look at her, a crease in his brow while Johnny looks at her and offers her a bit of a watery smile. </p><p>“He’s awake.” </p><p>The doctors, when they finally show up, do a myriad of tests. Mostly reflexes, movements, general check-up related tests. They ask him a variety of questions he has to answer by memory, his phone number, his address, as well as some related to general memory that they correlate with Johnny’s answers when asked the same questions. For all that Renjun is clearly still very tired and groggy, he seems quite fine. Answers every question correctly, his vitals still remain normal and his memories seem intact. Renjun may have just woken up from an unexplainable three week coma but he seems… fine. </p><p>“Very curious,” Dr. Kim comments, making notes about Renjun’s condition. “I suppose… well, medicine can’t explain everything. Maybe you both just have better luck than you think,” he says and Johnny ducks his head to try and hide his smile. “Still, we’ll be keeping Renjun for a few more days, just for observation. We’d hate for him to go home and something to happen. It’s rare but it’s not impossible for coma patients to have relapses or sudden health issues. We’d prefer a week but-” </p><p>“I’d rather not,” Renjun rasps, voice still rusty with disuse.. Johnny turns to him, squeezing his hand gently. Renjun turns to him and even through his haze he manages to look irritated.</p><p>“Of course, I’m sure you’re both quite tired of this place. Just a few days then,” the doctor allows. “I’ll leave you two alone, I’m sure you have much to talk about.” </p><p>“Thank you, doctor,” Johnny says and the doctor nods once before leaving the room. Renjun slips a little further into the blankets, eyes fluttering sleepily. “Still tired, baby?” Johnny asks and Renjun nods, eyes falling shut. “I’m surprised considering how long you’ve been asleep on me.” </p><p>“How long?” Renjun asks. </p><p>“Hm?” </p><p>“The doctor wasn’t very specific about how long I was out. How long have I been out, Johnny?” Renjun asks and Johnny sighs softly. It’s not really a topic he wants to talk about, was hoping the doctor would handle it for him but he kept the information about Renjun’s condition vague. Maybe he thought it would be easier for Renjun to hear it from someone he cared about but Johnny isn’t sure he can say it. And more than that, isn’t sure he’s ready for Renjun’s reaction to it. </p><p>“Almost three weeks,” Johnny says, so softly he isn’t sure Renjun’s heard him. But all sleepiness he might’ve had disappears immediately as he sits up in bed. Johnny reaches for him, can hear Renjun’s heartbeat pick up on the EKG as his eyes widen and he starts breathing faster. “Renjun, calm down. You’re gonna send yourself into a fit if you panic.” </p><p>“Three weeks?” Renjun asks, the words blurting out of his mouth. “Three- what about the wedding? Johnny, I really can’t stay here, there’s so much left to do. Please tell me Ten went into the bakery and what about the gallery-” </p><p>“Renjun, I really think the last thing we need to be worried about is the wedding right now,” Johnny says, trying to calm him down. “Take a deep breath, baby, it’s okay.” </p><p>“It’s not!” Renjun insists. Johnny gently cups the side of his face, brushing his thumb over his cheek. “I’ve been lying in this fucking bed while you’ve been taking care of the wedding this whole time. Johnny-” </p><p>“Renjun, I don’t know that we’re still gonna have the wedding in five weeks.” Renjun leans back into the pillows, eyes falling to his lap. “Oh my God, I just realized what that sounded like. We’re gonna get married!” Johnny backtracks, voice pitching up frantically. “Renjun, I am going to marry you! There is nothing in this world I want more than to marry you, that has not changed. If anything, I am more certain now than ever that I want to marry you. I- I love you, baby. I love you so much,” he breathes and the corners of Renjun’s lips turn up in a sad smile. “I just don’t know that having a wedding now is such a good idea. And… and honestly, Wendy and I have been talking about postponing it for… about a week now. We just didn’t know, what with you being…” </p><p>“In a coma? You can say it.” </p><p>“I really, really can’t,” Johnny replies and Renjun’s eyes are sad when they meet Johnny’s. “We didn’t know when you’d wake up. We were going to go to the gallery on Monday.” </p><p>“Are you? Still going to go to the gallery?” Renjun asks delicately. </p><p>“I don’t know,” Johnny admits. “This changes things, a little bit. But we don’t have to talk about that right now,” Johnny says. He comes around to the other side of the bed, away from Renjun’s injured ankle, which they have long since taken down from it’s suspension and now lies in a brace, still sporting it’s metal pins for the time being, on the bed. Now he can sit on the edge of the hospital bed and he takes Renjun’s hands in his, leaning in closer. “Right now I just want to be with you.” </p><p>“Kiss me,” Renjun tells him. “Haven’t you waited long enough?” </p><p>“You have no idea,” Johnny says. He leans forward and Renjun lets go of his hands to wrap his arms around Johnny’s neck while Johnny’s hands land on his waist. Johnny kisses him delicately, pressing a chaste little close mouthed kiss to his lips. Renjun, apparently, doesn’t agree. </p><p>His fingers slip up into Johnny’s hair and pull him in tighter, opening his lips against Johnny’s. Renjun just woke up from a goddamn coma but Johnny would do literally anything he asked so he opens his mouth against Renjun’s and kisses him deeper. Kisses him like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, like he feels like he should’ve that morning before rushing out the door. He lets his tongue linger along Renjun’s lips, coaxing kisses that slip into each other out of him. Renjun holds him so close and Johnny’s arms slide around his middle, keeping him pressed to him. </p><p>Johnny pulls away after a few minutes, feeling thoroughly kissed. It’s a feeling he’s missed. </p><p>“I missed you,” Johnny confesses against his lips, having pulled away far enough that they aren’t kissing but not enough to leave any actual space between them. He doesn’t want to let Renjun go ever again. It’s a silly, completely untrue theory but maybe, just maybe, if he holds on tight enough, if he never lets Renjun go ever again, nothing else could ever happen to him. There are holes in this plan, holes that Renjun will pick apart if he even thinks about saying it aloud but it works right now. He’s a little delirious from that kiss so sue him if he’s just a tad out of his mind. </p><p>“I’m right here,” Renjun assures him. “Right here. I’m not going anywhere. Not again.” </p><p>There’s about an hour where it’s just the two of them, dazed and fuzzy and rose-colored, trading soft, silent kisses. Johnny sits on the edge of Renjun’s bed, one hand on his hip while the other holds his hand and Renjun’s free hand runs through his hair, brushes over his cheek, over his shoulder, his bicep and back up. It never stops moving, continuing to touch Johnny so gently and reverently whenever they aren’t pressing kisses to each other’s lips. </p><p>The hour comes to a screeching halt when someone clears their throat from the doorway. Johnny didn’t keep track of the time, it’s still early in the day and he looks over his shoulder about the same time Renjun freezes in his arms. </p><p>“Mama? Baba?” Renjun asks, clearly confused. As well he should be considering the last time they spoke they were doing nothing but yelling at each other. Renjun had even told them quite plainly that if they didn’t support or even accept his relationship with Johnny that he didn’t want to see or speak to them ever again. It was a pretty bad day for everyone. So the shock on Renjun’s face, seeing his parents standing in the doorway of his hospital room, is understandable. </p><p>“You’re awake,” his mother says, smiling. And then her eyes dart to Johnny and her smile no longer reaches her eyes. “We’re so happy to see you awake,” she says, coming over to the side of the bed. His father follows but keeps a steady amount of distance between Johnny and himself. </p><p>“What’re you doing here?” Renjun asks. Johnny shifts to, at the very least, get off the bed, but Renjun’s hand remains on his shoulder and he squeezes Johnny’s hand. He stops trying to ease himself out of the way immediately, instead squeezing Renjun’s hand in a way he hopes is reassuring. </p><p>“We came as soon as the hospital called,” she explains shortly. “We’re so glad to see you awake, baobei,” she says, reaching out to brush Renjun’s hair away from his eyes. Her eyes dart to Johnny once more, to the way he’s holding her son and then she pulls her hand back quickly. “Johnny, would you mind giving us a moment with our son?” </p><p>“Of course,” Johnny agrees. The moment he goes to move, however, Renjun’s still got him by the hand and is tugging back. Johnny looks at him and Renjun’s staring at him with wide, pointed eyes. “I’ll be right outside,” Johnny says. Renjun reluctantly lets go of his hand and Johnny cups the back of his head, kissing his forehead. He’s pretty sure that strange almost-hissing noise just came from Renjun’s father but he’d prefer to not find out. He heads out quickly, being sure to not make eye contact with the Huangs. </p><p>Johnny is used to this, at this point, and takes a bit of a walk around the premises. He does, however, linger near the hallway more than before, probably because Renjun is awake instead of asleep and leaving him with his parents still doesn’t sit quite right with Johnny. He knows Renjun’s parents love him and they truly think that all their opinions are what’s best for their son but Johnny… well, needless to say Johnny isn’t so sure and Renjun definitely doesn’t agree with the sentiment so Johnny is hesitant to leave them with him. </p><p>He’s at the nurses’ station checking his phone when Renjun’s parents walk briskly past him. Johnny’s not entirely certain that if he was in the way Renjun’s mother wouldn’t have hesitated to run him over. He double checks the time and finds it’s only been 30 minutes and he tries not to rush down the hall. He didn’t hear any screaming and when he gets to Renjun’s room, though he’s hunched in on himself with a hand over his face, he doesn’t look to be in any physical pain.</p><p>“Renjun?” Johnny asks gently. Renjun lifts his head to look at him, a resigned look on his face. “Oh, baby,” Johnny sighs, coming over to him. He sits on the edge of the bed and Renjun shakes his head, rubbing his forehead. </p><p>“I just don’t get it,” he admits and Johnny takes his hand in his. “We have been together for almost four years, we are getting married in five weeks.” Johnny clears his throat awkwardly, Renjun rolling his eyes in an affectionately fond manner. God, Johnny’s missed him. “They can’t honestly think I am suddenly going to change my mind and stop seeing you, can they?”</p><p>“Your parents… seem to think that I’m not what’s best for you,” Johnny says delicately. Renjun’s shoulders drop as he lifts his head, looking at Johnny sadly. “I’m not going to say they’re right because I like to think that I am what’s best for you and if I’m not I’ll do everything in my power to be that,” he says and Renjun smiles at him. “But maybe… convincing your parents is a lost cause.” </p><p>“Please tell me they weren’t awful to you these past few weeks,” Renjun says and Johnny grimaces awkwardly. “Johnny.” </p><p>“They weren’t terrible,” Johnny says but Renjun looks unimpressed. That look should have a far less power considering he looks so tired and pale but it’s just the same as ever. No surprise there. “I gave them a wide berth, which I don’t think anyone can blame me for.” </p><p>“No, I can’t,” Renjun sighs. “I’m sorry.” </p><p>“Are you apologizing after waking up from being unconscious for three weeks?” Johnny asks, leaning in closer. Renjun gives him a tired smile while Johnny loops an arm around his waist. “Stop that,” he scolds softly, making Renjun giggle. “I don’t want to hear you apologize for anything.” He says, pressing a kiss to Renjun’s cheek. “Not a damn thing until you’ve been awake for at least 48 hours. You hear me?” </p><p>“Yes, sir,” Renjun grumbles. Johnny kisses his lips then, Renjun throwing an arm around his shoulders. </p><p>There is nothing on this earth that could make Johnny get tired of this, especially now, having gone so long without it. Three weeks without a single kiss from his love, waiting anxiously for him to wake up, he never wants to let go. He wants to steal and take and have as many kisses as he can. Johnny wants to kiss Renjun until their lips are bruised, until they can kiss no longer. So he tugs Renjun in closer, Renjun making a soft little surprised noise into his throat, lips falling open, and kisses him harder. Just to feel Renjun press back against him and give it back. </p><p>Time ticks on and Johnny continues to hold Renjun, marveling in the fact that his fiance is awake and with him. There’s a period of time where they end up lying in bed together and Johnny can’t stop brushing his thumb back and forth over Renjun’s cheek, right underneath where his big eyes are looking up at him. He’s lying on his left side, which means Johnny can trace his fingers over the cuts and tiny abrasions on his cheeks and forehead from the accident. </p><p>Renjun’s eyes flutter shut when his thumb traces over the corner of his eye and Johnny leans in, pressing a soft, barely there kiss to his eyelid. When he pulls back Renjun’s eyes open again and he’s looking into his lover’s eyes once more, so dark and beautiful. His thumb traces down his cheek, touching the scabbed over cuts gently, learning the new terrain of Renjun’s face.</p><p>“Johnny?” Someone calls out that evening and Johnny lifts his head, Renjun glancing over his shoulder to the door. </p><p>Kun and Yuta stop short in the doorway, looking at them with big eyes. Kun’s features melt into a relieved smile and Renjun sits up in bed, Johnny doing the same next to him. He’s across the room in a second and got Renjun in his arms, Renjun laughing softly into Kun’s shoulder. Kun squeezes him tightly while Yuta lingers at the doorway, watching with a soft smile. </p><p>“You’re awake,” Kun says, pulling away to look at him. “Oh God, you’re awake.” </p><p>“I’m awake, gege,” Renjun replies and Kun tugs him into a hug again, Renjun laughing again, this time louder.</p><p>“I’m so glad,” Kun sighs. “So glad to see you awake again, Injunnie.” </p><p>“Glad to be awake,” Renjun replies, tightening his hold on his gege. “So glad.” </p><p>The next day the door to Renjun’s hospital room remains propped open due to how many people are coming in and out of it. After a night of actual rest and finally being able to take a shower and change into something clean, Renjun looks much more like himself. Johnny kisses him good morning when he gets in but that’s pretty much it when Yukhei and Hyuck show up early in the morning with Honey balanced on her taller dad’s hip. Her cheering is enough to wake anyone up and Renjun reaches for the baby girl, also their chosen flower girl, immediately. </p><p>Everyone shows up at one point or another. 11 o’clock comes and goes and there’s no sign of Renjun’s parents but Renjun doesn’t seem very broken up about it, more resigned than anything when Johnny mentions it. Jeno is carrying a large vase so full of flowers it has to go on the coffee table because it doesn’t fit on the bedside table. Doyoung almost squishes the life out of Renjun when he and Taeyong come to visit and Jaemin, Yangyang and Sungchan show up with balloons of all things. Renjun spends most of the day looking flushed with embarrassment as well as joy and surprise. </p><p>Everything starts calming down after Ten and Taeil visit, both of them hugging Renjun tightly before leaving. Renjun waves them off only for his eyes to widen in shock and surprise at his last few visitors. </p><p>“Renjunnie!” Johnny’s mom calls out and Johnny laughs at the look of surprise on his fiance’s face. She’s across the room in an instant and wrapping Renjun up in a tight hug, rocking him back and forth. Johnny’s dad is carrying the card and the flowers, trailing in after her, setting them on the already crowded coffee table before coming over to greet Renjun as well. </p><p>“What’re you doing here?” Renjun asks. “You didn’t really fly all this way just because of me?” </p><p>“‘Just because of me,’ we’d do anything for you two, when are you gonna realize that one, sweetie,” Johnny’s mom says, thumbing at Renjun’s cheek affectionately. Renjun grins at her, a little shy and a lot overwhelmed. “We’re so glad to see you awake, darling.” </p><p>“You gave everyone quite the scare there, kid,” Johnny’s dad mentions. “Good to see you up and about.” </p><p>“I mean about is a little… ambitious,” Renjun says, casting a glance at his still immobile ankle. “But we’re getting there,” he says with a little smile. He turns to Johnny then. “You didn’t tell me they were in town.” </p><p>“No one told <i>me</i> they were in town and I’m their actual son,” Johnny retorts, giving his parents a critical look. Johnny’s mom winks at Renjun, making him giggle.</p><p>It’s six in the evening when Johnny’s parents leave and Renjun collapses back in his blankets. He’s tired, obviously, from everything going on as well as still trying to regain his strength from three weeks unconscious. Johnny goes about cleaning up a bit, straightening the vases and the cards, setting the corkboard aside (getting that thing back to the apartment is going to be a huge pain, goddammit Kun). Renjun watches his diligent fiance go about taking care of things, closing the door to the room and straightening up his own things. </p><p>“Johnny,” Renjun calls out. Johnny turns to look. “Come here, please?” </p><p>As if Johnny would ever tell him no. </p><p>He walks over to Renjun’s bed and sits on the edge of it. Renjun reaches for his hand and threads their fingers together. </p><p>“You’re going to the gallery on Monday?” He asks and Johnny nods. “Don’t postpone the wedding.” </p><p>“Renjun-” </p><p>“Johnny, please,” Renjun says, looking at him with pleading eyes. Johnny leans over him, cupping his cheek gently. </p><p>“Baby, you’re still so weak. I still don’t think you should rush getting out of here. We can handle the cost, we’ll figure out the medical bills, I just want you to be healthy. And if that means moving the wedding, that’s okay. I’m okay with that.” </p><p>“I’m not,” Renjun says and Johnny frowns at him. “Johnny, y’know... I remember the accident.” Johnny’s eyes widen. “I do. Most of it, anyway. I remember the car and the bus tipping over. When it fell, I hit my head on the wall,” he explains, eyes going far away as he recounts it. Johnny climbs into the bed with him then, pulling Renjun close to him. </p><p>“My foot was under the seat in front of me and when the bus tipped over my foot slipped off and the seat moved. I remember hearing it, when it crushed my ankle, but I don’t remember it hurting. I think it’s because my ears were ringing, I couldn’t focus on anything. The glass in the window next to me shattered when it hit the ground, that’s what cut me.” Johnny’s thumb brushes over his cheek, the cuts littering it and the corner of his forehead. “Everything’s kind of blurry because… I probably gave myself a concussion or something when I hit my head. I remember all the lights and the sound of sirens and when I looked to the other side of the bus, I don’t know how long I was trapped in there but they had to break the window on the other side to get to me. I think I was talking about you but I don’t know what I was saying.” </p><p>
  <i>”He was out of it when they got there, he was talking but he wasn’t making any sense, all they heard was your name.”</i>
</p><p>“But when the bus fell, there were these really terrifying few moments, where I thought I was gonna die,” Renjun admits. “And all I could think about was how fucking terrible it would’ve been if I had died and I never got the chance to marry you.” Johnny presses forward to kiss his forehead. “I just couldn’t stop thinking about it, especially so close to the date. I’m sure I was inconsolable, crying about my fiance with a crushed ankle and a bruised skull but it was just the worst thing I could imagine. All I wanted was you, to see you, to tell you I love you. Johnny, I love you,” Renjun says, eyes coming back into focus. </p><p>They’re filled with tears and Johnny pulls him in closer, pressing him against his chest while he kisses Renjun’s hair and rocks him back and forth the best he can while they’re lying down. </p><p>“I love you. I love you so much, Renjun. I love you, baby,” Johnny whispers while Renjun cries into his shirt. </p><p>They stay that way until Renjun cries soften into sniffles, allowing Johnny to pull back, wiping his cheeks with the ends of his sleeves. </p><p>“I don’t want to postpone the wedding,” Renjun finally says, voice thick with tears. “I don’t want to wait. I want to marry you as soon as I possibly can. I don’t care if I have to hobble down to the fucking aisle, I want to marry you in the gallery in those ridiculous suits and call you my husband. I know it doesn’t mean much, we don’t need a piece of paper to tell us that we love each other, I know that, I just- I love you. And I want to marry you.” </p><p>“Okay,” Johnny agrees. </p><p>In his heart, he knows he feels the same. Johnny has always wanted to marry Renjun, knew from the very first month that he was his one. And to have him almost ripped away, so suddenly and by such a freak accident, it was enough to almost break him. He wants this wedding as much as Renjun he just thought maybe it was best to wait. </p><p>It’s clear now that neither of them are willing to wait a second longer before they get to call each other ‘husband’. </p><p> </p><p>On the condition that they don’t postpone the wedding, Johnny gets Renjun to agree to stay in the hospital for the recommended amount of time. He spends much of it complaining about the fact that he is fine and he is tired of sleeping in a bed that is not his own. </p><p> </p><p>With Renjun awake and intent on getting back to normal Johnny has no option other than to let him have at the wedding plans. Wendy was overjoyed to hear the wedding was back on the planned date, showing up in Renjun’s hospital room with a cheer and even hugging him. Renjun was very overwhelmed by Wendy’s joy and took it all with a moderately surprised look on his face. </p><p>Most of the big things were done awhile ago but there are a few little things here and there that need doing. Which is why Johnny is sitting on the floor of his fiance’s hospital room with tiny pieces of papers splayed all over the floor. Renjun’s bed doesn’t look much better as they attempt to glue the actual name plates onto their underlay color and then to the actual placard that allows them to stand up. </p><p>Ah yes, the little details. </p><p>“Babe,” Johnny groans after about an hour of it. Renjun hums from his bed. “Why did we invite so many people to our wedding?”</p><p>“I dunno, why do we have so many friends?” Renjun retorts making Johnny groan again, but louder. “Stop complaining and keep gluing,” Renjun says, tossing Jaemin’s at Johnny. If Jaemin’s is a little bent they don’t really mind and neither will he. Johnny whines about things being thrown at him about the time Kun and Taeyong show up, stopping short in the doorway. </p><p>“Arts and crafts hour for the prisoner?” Taeyong jokes, getting a glare from Renjun. “Hi, Renjunnie. How you feeling?” </p><p>“A little sticky,” he admits, demonstrating how he’s managed to get glue all over his hands, causing his fingers to stick together a bit. “I’m gonna wash my hands before lunch.” </p><p>Johnny offers a hand to Renjun, helping him out of the bed. He hands him his pair of crutches and Renjun makes quick work of getting to the bathroom, leaving Johnny to pick up the nameplates and other miscellaneous items strewn around the room while Kun and Taeyong unpack lunch. With the cafeteria food still being terrible and Renjun not having a stomach ailment, they’ve taken to bringing him his meals. Johnny is actually kind of surprised by how dexterous Renjun is with those crutches, making it to the couch quickly and efficiently, plopping down next to Kun. Johnny stacks the papers together and presses a kiss to Renjun’s lips before settling down on the floor and tucking into his own meal. </p><p>After lunch Kun and Taeyong linger around the room, Renjun asking Kun about the gallery. Kun tries to evade his questions but Renjun is nothing if not persistent, causing Kun to relent after enough needling. Johnny and Taeyong listen to Kun talk about the gallery, how they don’t have any new additions yet but the business is always good. The Qian Gallery is always doing well, a smaller art house but housing more than a few eclectic works that bring in enough curious people. It’s a one stop shop for the moony eyed indie artist and Kun does a great job managing it. </p><p>“After the wedding-” </p><p>“After the wedding you’re staying on medical leave,” Kun interrupts, Renjun pouting at him in response. “You’re not coming back to work until you’re off those crutches. You can work from home answering emails and talking to clients but you’re not coming back to the gallery. And that’s that.” </p><p>“How do you expect me to pay my bills?” Renjun retorts. </p><p>“You don’t think your very capable husband-to-be isn’t able to support you for a few weeks?” Kun asks, gesturing to Johnny. Renjun rolls his eyes while Johnny gives Kun a look. </p><p>“I can’t pay for dinner half the time, you think this man is going to let me pay his bills?” He asks, making Kun shake his head, Taeyong giggling softly next to them. “Very funny.” </p><p>“Have you guys thought about… your honeymoon?” Taeyong asks, delicately. Johnny sighs while Renjun leans back in the bed. </p><p>“We agreed to take the honeymoon another time. Maybe next year,” Johnny admits, both of their friends frowning at them. “It’s just not practical right now, what with Renjun’s injury and everything. We talked to Wendy about it already and we were able to cancel the rental without too steep of fees.” Renjun grimaces anyway and Taeyong frowns deeper.</p><p>“You were going to Jeju, weren’t you?” Kun asks and Johnny nods. “Well, it’ll still be there next year and maybe you can go in the spring, even?” </p><p>“Maybe,” Renjun agrees. “I think the honeymoon is a little ambitious yet. I just want to get to the wedding part,” He confesses and Johnny reaches over for his hand, smiling gently at him. “I’m excited.” </p><p>“This might be the most excited I’ve seen you two about getting married since the proposal,” Taeyong says. “It’s cute.” </p><p>“I think we’re both more than ready for this wedding to just happen,” Johnny says and Renjun lifts Johnny’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. </p><p>Someone clears their throat from the door and all four of them look, Renjun’s face falling immediately. </p><p>“Renjunnie, your father and I just wanted to let you know that we’re leaving,” his mother says and Renjun nods, straight faced. </p><p>“Alright. Get home safe,” he says. It’s a very final statement and his mother huffs, clearly unhappy with the cold way her son is regarding her. </p><p>“May I… walk you out, Mr and Mrs Huang?” Kun offers, trying to diffuse the sudden tension in the room. Mrs. Huang smiles gently at Kun, one the most sincere smiles Johnny has ever seen her have. </p><p>“That would be lovely, Kun,” she says and Kun gets up from the couch, gesturing for them to go first. They both turn to go and Kun gives them all a look before shutting the door after them. Taeyong breathes out while Renjun merely shakes his head, Johnny leaning over to kiss Renjun’s temple. </p><p>Kun walks them all the way through the hospital and lobby, out the front doors. He makes pleasant conversation with them all the way there and when they cross the front doors Mr. Huang excuses himself to pull up the car. He smiles warmly at Kun, shaking his hand before leaving. Kun nods and bows politely, leaving just himself and Renjun’s mother just off from the front doors of the hospital. </p><p>“Thank you,” she says and Kun looks at her, eyes wide in surprise. </p><p>“For what?” </p><p>“For being so sweet to us. I know Renjun doesn’t quite understand where we’re coming from about his relationship with that man but it’s nice that you still treat us so well, Kun,” she explains. Kun shifts awkwardly at the way she only refers to Johnny as ‘that man.’ </p><p>In the almost four years Renjun and Johnny have been together Kun doesn’t think he’s ever heard her say his name. It’s a weird realization to have, especially a handful of weeks out from their wedding, that Renjun’s parents have never once said Johnny’s name, at least not around Kun. Sometimes, most of the time, even with all of Renjun’s parents’ traditional views it doesn’t add up in his head. Why do they hate Johnny so much?</p><p>“Mrs. Huang,” Kun says carefully and she tilts her head at him, looking at him expectantly. “I apologize if this comes off as rude but I just have to ask. Why don’t you care for Johnny? Johnny’s a good man, a good friend and he really loves your son. I don’t know a single thing in this world that Johnny wouldn’t do for him and Renjun loves him in return. So much so he asked Johnny to marry him.” The mention of the m word makes her shift uncomfortably. “I guess I just don’t understand what more you could ask for in Renjun’s significant other than all that Johnny has already given him.” </p><p>“Kun,” she begins, turning to face him head-on. “I know from an outside perspective that it may seem like Renjun’s father and I are being… unreasonable.” Understatement, to say the least. “But we have our reasons. Johnny,” she pauses, face twisting in a weird manner, “seems like a fine man. But for someone else. We’ve always pictured someone a bit different for our Renjun and he just… isn’t it. And I’m afraid that as long as Renjun is with him we’ll never truly be happy with his decision.” </p><p>“You don’t think that’s… a little unfair?” She frowns. “Renjun loves him. He always will. You haven’t considered just… giving him a chance?” </p><p>“Oh, dear,” she says. Renjun’s mother reaches up and brushes a stray lock of hair out of his eyes, doting on him gently. “What’s the use in giving someone we don’t care for any space in our lives? No, I’m afraid Renjun’s father and I have made our decision on Johnny.” </p><p>“I guess I just don’t know what more you could want,” he admits. She smiles sadly. </p><p>“For all his seemingly lovely qualities I can’t help but believe there are things that he will never understand about Renjun. You know, dear, to be perfectly honest with you, sometimes I can’t help but wish he had fallen for someone a bit more like you.” Kun’s eyes widen in shock. “You’re a smart boy, very successful and kind, you’d understand his upbringing more than anyone else. I think in a different life you would’ve made an absolutely wonderful husband to our Renjun.” </p><p>“I- I-” he stutters, grasping for words. “Well, Mrs. Huang, I want you to know I respect you, both as a person and as Renjun’s mother, but I have to say that was an entirely inappropriate thing to say.” </p><p>She steps back as though surprised by the frankness of Kun’s statement. </p><p>“Not only is it rude to Renjun and Johnny and their upcoming marriage but I am in a steady, committed relationship and it’s quite uncalled for towards me and the man I’m seeing. I’m a little offended you would say such a thing to me, not because I don’t care for Renjun but because you’re so unhappy with Renjun and Johnny that you would willingly tell me that you rather I marry him when they are merely weeks away from their own wedding. It’s quite rude and I don’t think I have anything more to speak to you about if that’s truly the way you feel about it.” </p><p>“Kun-” </p><p>“I hope you and your husband get home safe and have a nice rest of your day,” he says, words stilted. Kun turns then, rather abruptly, and goes back inside before Mr. Huang even pulls up the car, leaving Mrs. Huang standing in front of the hospital with her mouth open and staring after him. </p><p>When he gets back to the room, he walks in a little unsteadily. Renjun looks at him in surprise while Taeyong and Johnny both look more than a little confused. He can only imagine what he must look like, still trying to process what Renjun’s mother just said to him. </p><p>Him, marry Renjun? It’s an absolutely ridiculous thing to say. In this life, Kun has never looked at Renjun as anything more than a friend, maybe even a little brother figure. It becomes clearer to him, the longer he thinks about it, it’s never been about Johnny’s age or his gender or anything of that sort. It’s always been about Johnny not being Chinese and that, as sad as it is, is the least surprising thing. </p><p>“Kun, please sit down. You look like you’re about to be ill,” Taeyong says, reaching for him. Kun staggers over to the couch, falling into it next to his friend. Johnny crosses the room to get to him, sitting beside him and reaching to touch his face. Kun slaps his hand away, coming back into himself the moment Johnny tries to check him for a fever. </p><p>“I’m not sick,” Kun replies. “I’m just… a little surprised, though in actuality I don’t know why I am.” </p><p>“What did they say to you?” Renjun asks. “I mean, that’s assuming my parents said something, not that I would be surprised if they did.” </p><p>“What did they say.” Kun says, a disbelieving laugh tacked onto his statement. “God, what didn’t your mother say? The minute your father goes to get the car I open a can of worms I can’t imagine ever closing. I ask her, as gently as possible, why she doesn’t care for Johnny. And what do I get in return? Your mother basically suggesting I should be marrying you instead.” </p><p>Renjun fakes the loudest retch Kun has ever heard in his life and if he wasn’t so in shock and Renjun wasn’t still injured he would probably throw something. </p><p>“It’s because I’m Korean?!” Johnny says, as though coming to the full realization, much as Kun already has. Taeyong’s eyes light up as though all the pieces are falling into place in front of him. Really, to any of their friends, this will truly all make sense in the end.</p><p>“Yes, I think that is the case,” Kun agrees. “Isn’t that really all any Asian mother wants? To see their child settle down with a person just like themselves?” </p><p>“My parents are taking that a little too far, don’t you think?” Renjun comments. “Not that I care, I’m getting married in a few weeks so settling down with a lovely Chinese person is quite out of the question. I will take my Korean man and be quite happy with that.” </p><p>“Well, that’s good to know considering I don’t think you’ll be getting rid of me any time soon,” Johnny says, winking at Renjun from across the room. </p><p> </p><p>At the end of the week the doctors release Renjun with a predominantly clean bill of health. He has a follow up MRI (just in case) and multiple appointments for his ankle but it’s better than before. His turn around would be considered miraculous to some, waking up from almost three weeks unconscious with next to nothing wrong. Johnny chooses not to look a gift horse in the mouth and stacks all the papers in a manila folder to give to the nurses before they leave. It’s all mundane paperwork anyway, setting it aside while Renjun changes out of his hospital scrubs. </p><p>As per hospital protocol Renjun is wheeled out in a wheelchair, much to his displeasure, but with Yerim accompanying them Johnny is able to run out and bring the car up for Renjun. Renjun gives her a hug and Johnny thanks her for all her help and care before helping his still wobbly fiance into the car. Yerim helps Johnny cram the corkboard into the backseat and waves them off with a smile. </p><p>“Excited to go home?” Johnny asks, reaching over the console to hold Renjun’s hand. </p><p>“So excited,” Renjun replies with a relieved smile. Johnny kisses the back of his hand, driving with care to bring Renjun home. </p><p>He pulls up to the front of the apartment, parking in the visitor parking rather than their usual spot. Renjun’s brow creases as Johnny turns off the car and offers him a serene smile. </p><p>“What’re you doing?” </p><p>“I’m taking my fiance up to our apartment before parking the car,” Johnny says. “The visitor parking is closer.” </p><p>“Are you not gonna get the stuff?” Renjun asks as Johnny opens the car door. </p><p>“I will get the rest of our things when you are safe and sound in our apartment,” he tells him, causing Renjun to roll his eyes. Johnny steps out and runs around the car to open the door for Renjun, offering his hand with a little bow. Renjun huffs at him but takes his hand and Johnny helps him to his feet. </p><p>Renjun’s right ankle is still wrapped up in a brace. In the time he was unconscious his ankle had time to heal up a bit, which means the metal pins in his ankle will be removed next week, however he will be keeping his brace for at least another six weeks, if not longer, and there’s certain to be physical therapy in his future. Renjun expects to have to rely on his crutches for a while yet, which is incredibly annoying but not impossible. Johnny hands him his crutches and Renjun sets himself up to make his way into the apartment building, resigned to limited mobility for the time being. </p><p>It’s a long trip from the parking lot up to their third floor apartment, thankfully eased by the elevator in their building. Renjun can feel Johnny hovering but chooses not to comment. He knows Johnny only means well and rests against the side of the elevator as Johnny presses the buttons for them. </p><p>On the third floor Renjun makes his way to their apartment only for Johnny to stop him at the threshold.</p><p>He smiles gently and eases the crutches out from under Renjun, leaving him to stand in the hallway with a crease in his brow, brows lifted. Johnny rests the crutches against the wall next to the door then reaches over to unlock the door, letting it swing open. In one movement, Johnny wraps an arm around Renjun’s back, the other behind his knees, lifting him off his feet in a bridal carry. </p><p>“Johnny!” Renjun shrieks through a laugh. “Put me down!” </p><p>“You didn’t even let me do this when we got the apartment,” Johnny says, Renjun laughing loudly as he wraps his arms around Johnny’s neck. “C’mon, baby, let me do this.” </p><p>“I can’t stop you because I can’t walk on my own so go on,” He acquiesces. Johnny adjusts to hold him a little more comfortably and Renjun rests his head on Johnny’s shoulder as Johnny crosses the threshold. </p><p>It’s a Tuesday. There is nothing big or incredible happening. Renjun has a broken ankle and is wearing joggers and a hoodie he thinks is actually Johnny’s. They have lived in this apartment together for two and a half years. They won’t be getting married for another four weeks. There is absolutely no reason for them to be so giddy and for Johnny to be carrying Renjun across the threshold of their home like this but Renjun feels absolutely bubbly anyway. </p><p>Johnny is grinning and Renjun leans in to kiss him. Johnny kisses him back, smiling so big it’s barely a kiss at all while Renjun’s arms unwind from his neck to rest his hands on either side of Johnny’s neck. </p><p>Maybe, in a way, this is a big deal. Just a few weeks ago Johnny thought this might not be possible again. Thought that he may never actually be able to bring Renjun home and share this apartment and these kisses and this life with him anymore. In a way, they have a lot to celebrate, a lot of reasons why Johnny might want to make this homecoming special. This is still their home and their life and something they’ve been building for years but in the wake of almost losing someone he loves more than he’s ever loved anyone before it’s easy to look at it with new eyes. </p><p>He carries Renjun to the bedroom, lays him on the bed and Renjun grips a little tighter to Johnny’s neck when he goes to pull away. </p><p>Their lips meet slowly but Renjun kisses him hot, open mouthed and deep. Johnny moans softly into the kiss, is tempted to lean into it. In the privacy of their apartment they can’t be interrupted anymore, can kiss as long as they feel like, as deeply and wantonly as they’re willing to. Johnny is reluctant to pull away from Renjun’s lips but the front door is still open and his crutches are still in the hall and the car is still parked in the visitor's parking. </p><p>“I’ll be right back,” Johnny whispers into Renjun’s lips, pulling away minutely. “Give me five minutes.” </p><p>“I’ll be waiting.” </p><p>Johnny makes quick work of going back out, setting the crutches just inside the door, shutting the door and running back down to the parking lot to move the car. He’s annoyed with the corkboard and it takes more than a little adjusting to get the damned thing out of his car but he manages alright, heading into the building and back up to the apartment. It lands on the couch when he gets in and he doesn’t even stop to take off his shoes before he’s making his way back to the bedroom. </p><p>Renjun is still lying on the bed except he’s struggling taking his singular shoe off. Johnny only brought the left one considering wearing a shoe with his ankle the way it is isn’t really possible. Johnny goes to him and sits on the edge of the bed, reaching over to take his shoe off for him, Renjun relaxing back into the mattress. </p><p>“My hero,” Renjun sighs. Johnny laughs softly, pressing a kiss to the inside of his ankle gently. </p><p>He moves further up the bed until he’s sitting next to Renjun’s side, leaning over to place his hands on either side of Renjun’s head. Renjun swings an arm around Johnny’s neck and tugs him down, their lips meeting once more. Johnny is careful as he kisses him back, easing himself further over his boyfriend and placing a knee between his spread thighs. </p><p>It’s a dangerous game they’re playing, Johnny all but on top of him, one foot in the bed, quite literally. Renjun doesn’t let up and doesn’t let Johnny either. Johnny kisses him eagerly, moving a hand to cup Renjun’s jaw, tilting his head to kiss further into his mouth. Renjun’s lips fall open and he sighs as Johnny pushes his way inside. </p><p>Tenderly, Johnny kisses him deeper, Renjun’s hands coming up to run through his hair. It’s getting a bit longer now, he should get it cut before the wedding but he only thinks of that briefly, the feeling of Renjun’s fingers in his hair pulling him back down to reality. The taste and weight of Renjun on his tongue, the way Renjun digs his fingers in when Johnny tugs on his lower lip, when he gently pulls Johnny’s hair, tearing a moan out of him. </p><p>Renjun knows all his tells. Always has. There is no one in this world that has ever taken Johnny apart and sewn him back together quite as well as Renjun always manages to. A part of Johnny would like to think he knows Renjun just as well, just as intimately, and he tests his luck when he moves his hand from Renjun’s jaw to the base of his throat and listens to Renjun’s breath hitch. It’s a subtle movement but it says so much about the way they trust each other and Renjun lets him in. He kisses the little sound away, lips lingering along Renjun’s. </p><p>“I missed you,” Johnny whispers again. </p><p>“You don’t have to miss me anymore,” Renjun tells him. His fingers go lax in Johnny’s hair, running through it gently. His fingertips and neatly trimmed nails scritch against his scalp soothingly and Johnny’s eyes flutter. Renjun presses a kiss to his nose, his cheek, the corner of his lips and Johnny chases him, Renjun’s tongue catching his in an open mouthed kiss. When they part, Johnny’s lips hover millimeters from Renjun’s and Renjun bumps their noses together. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” </p><p>“Promise?” </p><p>“I promise.” </p><p> </p><p>Four weeks is a short time frame when you’re planning a wedding. Johnny doesn’t understand how the time slips away through his fingers like sand when the three weeks Renjun was unconscious felt like a lifetime. It is, perhaps, the circumstances surrounding the events that causes the time to move at such drastically different rates. Johnny finds the days disappearing around scheduling things and planning the last few touches on the decorations and the people and who stands where and who’ll sit where, not that that’s much of a problem. Two weeks from the actual wedding Johnny falls into bed and curls up next to his soon-to-be-husband. </p><p>“14 days,” he whispers into his shoulder, pressing a kiss to it. Renjun turns his head slightly to look at him. Renjun manages to look both 16 and 73 when he wears his reading glasses, Johnny is pretty certain of this. They’re just a little too big for his face, making him look like a child wearing his grandfather’s glasses but the set of his brows and the knowing look in his eyes makes him look like someone wisened by time. It’s just another strange juxtaposition about Renjun Johnny continues to unravel, confused but delighted. </p><p>“Are you nervous?” Renjun asks. Johnny takes his hand in his, lifting it to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. A smile makes its way onto Renjun’s lips. </p><p>“Excited.” </p><p>Contrary to Wendy and Ten’s suggestion, Johnny and Renjun’s wedding venue is small. Probably smaller than it should be considering their guest list is absolutely ridiculous (it got way out of control the more they realized how big their friend circles are). Kun was reluctant at first but after a series of conversations they managed to get him to agree to let them rent out the back hall of the gallery for their wedding. </p><p>It’s the gallery Johnny had his first photo exhibition in and also where Renjun spends most of his time. Kun complained about it, in fact, that Renjun wanted to get married where he worked but they all know there isn’t a place in this world Renjun loves more than the gallery. And it’s where Renjun and Johnny first reconnected after university, spent hours getting to know one another after gallery hours, while Renjun was on his lunches, the days Johnny wasn’t working his, at the time, gruesome retail shifts. It just made sense, no place had more of their relationship history than the Qian Gallery. </p><p>The Suh &amp; Co Photography studio is where they’re holding their reception, decked out through the main entrance and every room decorated to the nines. Despite it being a place where Renjun and Johnny spent a good deal of time arguing when it was being put together it’s still a place near and dear to the both of them, as well as Johnny’s own personal space. Jaemin was a great help with the decor as well the agreed upon photographer so it just made sense. The giant photography room in the back is more than large enough to house everyone even if renting the actual dining set up was a little bit of a hassle. </p><p>All in all, a little expensive but when you own one location and work at the other it’s a little more doable than anything else. </p><p>However, this means both locations are shut down for the entire day of the wedding and the gallery offices are turned into makeshift dressing rooms for the groom and groom. Renjun’s office, obviously, is Renjun’s dressing room while Kun reluctantly gave his over to Johnny. The hours before the wedding mark the hours Kun is, by far, the most nervous he has ever been for his gallery.</p><p>“I just don’t know that I trust Ten with my gallery,” Kun complains, fixing Chenle’s tie. “Honestly, Lele, you’re a grown man. When are you gonna learn how to do your tie up properly?” He asks, smoothing it down so it tucks cleanly into his waist coat. </p><p>“Never. You’re gonna be doing his tie for him at his own wedding,” Sicheng comments from where he’s sitting on Renjun’s desk, Renjun lounging in his rolling chair behind it. They’re already dressed for the wedding, though Renjun’s jacket is hanging on the back of his chair. His crutches are leaning against the side of his desk while he turns leisurely back and forth in his chair, watching Kun fuss over Chenle. </p><p>“I heard there was a groom in here,” Yukhei says, pushing open the door to the office gently. Renjun’s eyes light up at the sight of his friend and his goddaughter, Honey, who is already making grabby hands for her godfather. “Honey wanted to see you off before your wedding,” Yukhei tells him, crossing the room to get to Renjun. </p><p>“Well, isn’t that nice of her,” Renjun says, the baby landing in his arms easily. She’s not really a baby, she’s already two and talking, shrieking more than anything, especially around himself and Johnny. There are very few people in this world that Hwayoung is more vocal around than her fathers and godfathers. She goes to Renjun’s tie immediately and Renjun hears Kun huff on the other side of the room when she manages to tug it mostly out of his waist coat. </p><p>“Oh, Ten’s gonna freak,” Sicheng chuckles, reaching over to run his fingers through her hair. It’s got a slight wave, pitch black and falling into her eyes a bit. Ten is nothing if not doting over his niece and has already given her a little cut, perfect side swept bangs and Hyuck has braided his daughter’s hair for the occasion. She looks perfect in her plum purple dress (a dress Ten searched high and low for to match their plum, cream and black wedding decor), cream flowers braided into her hair. If Renjun didn’t know any better he’d think his baby goddaughter was the main attraction of this festivity, she looks so darling. </p><p>“What am I supposed to do, not spend time with my goddaughter, our flower girl?” Renjun points out, pulling her closer. Her fingers catch his hair next and Kun looks on, mildly exasperated but also clearly charmed by the little girl. </p><p>“I’m the flower girl!” She says proudly and Renjun grins at her. </p><p>“You are!” He cheers, fixing her braid to sit a little better on her shoulder. </p><p>In the next room over Ten is fussing over Johnny’s hair, just as one might expect. Johnny rolls his eyes at Taeyong who merely shakes his head, Mark lounging in Kun’s chair with his phone out. All of them have already dressed for the occasion but Ten wouldn’t be Ten if he wasn’t finding something to fuss over. The rest of the place has already been decorated, they wait only for everyone to show up and be seated before they can start the ceremony. Johnny watches Ten blandly, one of his best friends seeming to be more concerned about this than either of the grooms. </p><p>“Are you done?” Johnny asks when Ten adjusts a lock of hair to frame his face perfectly. It’s wavy and brown, framing his eyes cutely and Ten huffs, putting his hands on his hips. </p><p>“Excuse me for wanting my best friend to look perfect on the best day of his life.” </p><p>“As long as I’m married to Renjun at the end of it, I’m really not that bothered.” </p><p>“No cold feet?” Taeyong asks and Johnny shakes his head with a grin. </p><p>“No. I know he’s the one for me.” Taeyong looks at him so softly and fondly while Mark makes a gagging noise from the chair. Johnny glares at him from around Taeyong’s shoulder. </p><p>“Sorry,” Mark apologizes. “Something in my throat.” </p><p>“You can be replaced,” Johnny warns him. </p><p>“Not this close to the ceremony,” Ten points out. “Now don’t do anything that’s gonna mess up your hair or your suit.” </p><p>“I’ll be sure to not breathe,” Johnny replies, making Ten roll his eyes. “Relax, Tennie, everything’s gonna be fine,” he tells him, resting a hand on Ten’s shoulder. </p><p>“I know that. Now, Taeyong,” he says, turning to look at their friend, who lifts a brow, “I’m trusting you to keep an eye on him while I help Wendy with the final touches. If you take your eyes off of him for so much as a moment I don’t know that we’re gonna have both grooms for the wedding.” Johnny laughs, tilting his head back as he does so. “Watch him.” </p><p>“Aye, aye, captain,” Taeyong deadpans. </p><p>“I’ll be back,” he warns. </p><p>“Alright, well the threat was unnecessary,” Mark drawls from the chair. Ten narrows his eyes at him before darting from the room. Johnny sighs, shaking his head at Taeyong. </p><p>“You’d think he’s the one getting married,” Taeyong jokes. </p><p>“I don’t even want to imagine his and Taeil’s wedding,” Johnny replies. It’s an unspoken agreement to not talk about such an event in front of them, mostly because Ten’s going to be nothing less than a bridezilla but also because no one knows when Taeil is gonna break it to his boyfriend that he maybe, kind of wants to spend the rest of their lives together. </p><p>While the wedding party hides in the offices the rest of the guests are filtered through the gallery. Thankfully the back hall of the gallery sports mostly photography pieces, of which the biggest display is definitely Johnny’s exhibit. It was a number of years ago that it was originally displayed and has since been removed, most of the photos given back to Johnny when they took it down but Kun couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate the occasion than to put it back up. </p><p>It takes center stage on the wall adjacent to alter, a huge arch of cream and plum flowers weaved with pine-y greenery. There’s nothing incredibly over the top about it, Renjun and Johnny having gone back and forth over the design for more than a few weeks. </p><p>Johnny was always the kind to want a big wedding while Renjun was more of a fan of something small and intimate. When he proposed, he even joked about eloping, which Johnny had to remind him his parents would’ve killed him if they didn’t get to see their only son get married. They decided on this, a decently small (small is relative with as many friends as they have) ceremony. </p><p>Beyond the archway there’s nothing else exceptional about it all. The carpet that marks the aisle is pitch black, as are the chairs, and the flowers Miss. Hwayoung will be throwing are deep purple and cream in color. All the pomp is reserved for the reception, which still isn’t that big of a deal (most of the money having gone to the DJ and sound system, in a surprise to absolutely nobody). The white walls of the gallery make the room seem bigger than it is and in the moment before the grooms say their vows people mill about, greeting each other and talking amongst themselves. </p><p>“Attention, guests,” Wendy calls from the front of the room. “Now that everyone has arrived, we ask that you all be seated as we will begin the ceremony shortly.” Everyone disperses while Jaemin moves to the back of the room, camera in hand, Yangyang moving over to the piano they rented for the occasion. Jaehyun meets him there with a smile, Yangyang pulling his violin free of its case to stand next to him. </p><p>“Show time,” Yangyang whispers, making Jaehyun snort as he lifts the cover on the piano, checking the keys for tune. Perfectly in tune. Yangyang lifts his violin to his chin and plays a couple of notes himself. At least his violin seems to be in order. </p><p>“Remove the baby!” Ten shouts, pointing a finger at the baby in question. Renjun rolls his eyes while Ten practically jogs across the room. Yukhei takes the child from her godfather while Ten makes quick work of fixing Renjun’s suit. “Honestly, a baby before a wedding?! He’s wearing white!” </p><p>“What did you think she was gonna do, spit up? She’s already two, Ten,” Kun points out. Yukhei excuses himself anyway, he has to track down his husband and the basket of flower petals she’s supposed to throw anyway. Kun pats him on the back as he leaves, Yukhei gently shutting the door behind them. Ten fixes Renjun’s tie carefully and then offers his hands to help him to his feet. </p><p>“Aren’t you supposed to wait?” Sicheng asks. </p><p>“I’m not the one walking down the aisle,” Renjun says, contrary to the white suit he’s wearing. “Johnny and I thought it best he walk down the aisle, given my situation,” he says, gesturing to his ankle. “Pretty unfortunate considering I’m the one in white but what can you do?” </p><p>“Please tell me Mrs. Suh is walking Johnny down the aisle, I would love to see that,” Chenle says, getting a smack to his chest for his comment. </p><p>“Don’t worry, you’re gonna,” Renjun assures him. </p><p>Wendy cues the musicians from the back of the room, Jaehyun and Yangyang gently beginning the Bridal Chorus. It is perhaps a little inaccurate given the lack of a bride but it is beautiful and the music begins from the piano before the violin starts beside it. </p><p>The wedding party is first, Mark and Chenle walking side by side, black next to cream suits. Then it’s Sicheng and Ten taking their places at the altar beside them. Everyone turns when Kun and Taeyong come down the aisle, Renjun’s hands on their arms. </p><p>It wasn’t an advisable choice but he insisted on walking down the aisle without his crutches and he manages alright with his and Johnny’s best men helping him down it. There’s a slight limp in his step but he makes his way to the altar where the minister nods to them. Kun rests a gentle hand on his shoulder before settling in behind him. </p><p>There’s a moment of bated breath before everyone turns to look again. Johnny stands at the end of the aisle, his mother meeting him there. He offers his arm to her and she loops it through his, walking her only son down the aisle. </p><p>At the risk of sounding cliche, Johnny would tell anyone who asked that he doesn’t know how he made it down that aisle as he was not looking at a single step he made. He was only looking forward to where Renjun stood, dressed in his stunningly white suit, so pristine and beautiful, waiting for him at the altar. And if he got a bit misty eyed, who could judge him? Renjun looks at him from the altar so affectionately, so sweetly it makes Johnny’s heart beat double time, eager to reach the love of his life and say ‘I do.’</p><p>His mom kisses his cheek before letting him go, taking her seat next to Johnny’s father in the front row. There are no empty seats in the family chairs because they chose to take Renjun’s parents out of the arrangement altogether when they made it quite clear they didn’t want to come. No use looking at something that will only damper their beautiful day. </p><p>Johnny steps up next to Renjun at the altar and the minister begins. It’s a tedious thing, the monologue that belongs in every wedding. There was a part of Johnny that wanted to skip all the extra work and just say ‘I do’ and be done with it but he knows this is the part that matters. And in these moments he finds he doesn’t mind so much as long as he’s holding Renjun’s hands and staring into each other’s eyes with small, secret smiles created only for each other. </p><p>“The grooms have chosen to write personal vows for their matrimony. Renjun, if you would like to go first,” the minister says and Renjun nods. </p><p>“Thank you. Johnny, almost four years ago you asked me out on a date, in the middle of a bookstore after so many years away from each other and to this day I don’t know a single thing I’ve done that has been better than saying yes. Eight weeks ago, I was in an accident that threatened to take me away from you and every moment since I’ve woken up I’ve been nothing but thankful that I was able to see you again. In those moments, all I thought about was you and in the end, nothing matters more to me than getting to be here and marry you and call you my husband. For all these four years we’ve built a life together, something precious and beautiful and for every day from now until forever, I want to keep building this life. I want to keep loving you and trusting you and being with you and in return I hope you can love and trust me back. I promise to always stand by you and love you and support you, no matter what happens. I promise to always be yours as long as I live and forever more.” </p><p>“And now, Johnny.” </p><p>“Thank you. Renjun, eight weeks ago I had an entirely different set of vows written for this moment but I find that they pale in comparison to how I feel now. I have loved you for almost four years and in the span of a few hours I thought I lost you forever. I realized just how much I love you in those few hours, in the weeks after and there is nothing in the world I am more thankful for than the fact that I get to stand here and marry you.” Renjun watches as tears build in Johnny’s eyes and he finds his own sight getting blurry in return. “I love you so much sometimes I don’t know how I could ever love a person as much as I love you. I feel eternally blessed to get to be with you and I want to keep loving you and being with you every day that you let me, now and forever. I stand here promising to be yours, the shoulder you lean on, the love you come home to, the love of your life, so long as I live and every moment after.” </p><p>“Do you, Huang Renjun, take John Jun Suh to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?” As he says it, Renjun slides the silver band onto Johnny’s left ring finger, running his thumb over it gently before meeting Johnny’s eyes again.</p><p>“I do.” </p><p>“And do you, John Jun Suh, take Huang Renjun to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?” The silver band inset with a line of five simple diamonds fits perfectly onto Renjun’s left ring finger and Johnny smiles as he meets Renjun’s eyes once more.</p><p>“I do.” </p><p>“Then by the power vested in me by God above and the United States of America, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss your spouse.” </p><p>In one second to the next Johnny is holding Renjun’s hands and then he’s got all of his husband in his arms, kissing the damn life out of him. In front of their friends, their family, God and everyone and he couldn’t care less. </p><p>A thousand photos, a full meal and a cake cutting later (during which Johnny couldn’t help himself, wiping frosting across Renjun’s cheek before Renjun could stop him, only to get dragged in close by his tie, getting the breath kissed out of him), the music is running and Renjun leans on a crutch next to Yangyang, Jaemin and Sungchan’s table. Kun is standing behind the DJ booth with his boyfriend wrapped all around him like some kind of overly affectionate octopus. Yuta might also be a little drunk. </p><p>Everyone might be a little drunk. Renjun’s had two glasses of champagne and has been sneaking sips of Jaemin’s beer while Johnny isn’t looking. Johnny is all the way on the other side of the room, thanking his parents and making conversation with the family members that were able to fly out to see his wedding. When Renjun looks past his husband, when his eyes let him stop turning a moony eyed gaze to the man of his dreams, he sees his friends on the dance floor. </p><p>Guanheng is spinning Mark around the floor like the maniac he is, the both of them cackling like kids while Taeil and Ten sway in drunken circles, Ten still holding a wine glass by his fingertips, arms wrapped around Taeil’s neck. Hyuck’s got his daughter on his hip, Hwayoungie cheering as her father spins her in circles, Yukhei taking photos with his phone at the table next to the dance floor. Renjun is being polite by not calling Jeno out on his hand placement, low enough on Dejun’s hips that it’s almost indecent. </p><p>“Excuse me, gentlemen,” Johnny says, suddenly appearing at Renjun’s side. Jaemin narrows his eyes suspiciously while Sungchan leans on Yangyang’s shoulders with a grin. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to steal my husband for just a moment.” </p><p>“You get him forever, share the wealth,” Yangyang complains, Sungchan burying his face in his partner’s shoulder to smother his giggles. He’s red in the cheeks and Jaemin keeps shooting him adoring looks. </p><p>“I’m just trying to make him sit down,” Johnny defends. Yangyang waves them off, Johnny steering Renjun around to get him back to the wedding party’s table. </p><p>Renjun falls into the chair with a sigh, stretching his legs out. His left foot hurts something fierce, partially from being on his feet all day and partially from having to lean most of his weight on it. Johnny sits beside him and reaches out to brush Renjun’s hair from his eyes. He got it dyed back to natural black for the wedding and Johnny thinks it’s a very becoming shade on him. Renjun meets his eyes and Johnny leans in for a kiss, because he can. Because it’s his wedding and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get to kiss his husband whenever he likes. When they pull away from each other Renjun leans his head on Johnny’s shoulder. </p><p>“Tired?” Johnny asks. </p><p>“Yes,” Renjun sighs. “Long day.” </p><p>“You want to call it soon?” </p><p>“No,” he says in a huff, straightening up. “There’s still lots to do. And I’m not going anywhere until you dance with me, Mr. Suh.” Johnny grins at him while Renjun leans back to look at Kun. Kun meets his eyes and Renjun makes a circle in the air with his finger, Kun smiling before reaching for his microphone. “You might have to hold me up, though,” Renjun warns him, getting to his feet again. </p><p>“I promised to support you, did I not?” Johnny replies, getting up as well and taking Renjun’s hands in his. Renjun laughs, throwing his head back and everything. </p><p>“It wasn’t literal!” </p><p>“Well sometimes it might be. Like tonight,” Johnny tells him, leading him to the dance floor. </p><p>“Attention guests, can we please have everyone clear the dancefloor for the newlyweds’ first dance,” Kun crackles over the speakers. Johnny helps Renjun to the floor with an arm around his waist, the other hand holding his hand. The rest of the guests make their way off the floor as Johnny and Renjun take center stage, Johnny’s arms wrapping around his middle while Renjun lifts his to hold onto Johnny’s neck. </p><p>After a lot of back and forth and general conversation they needed several opinions before they could choose a first dance song. They didn’t want something overly slow or overly cliche or anything that’s been done only about a million times before. They found it way in the depths of the music Renjun would listen to in university and from the moment Renjun played it for Johnny they knew it was the right one. </p><p>Where The Sky Hangs trickles from the speakers, bouncy and happy and sweet. Johnny pulls Renjun in closer and sways him to the beat of it. It’s a little faster than most first dance songs but that’s why they like it. It’s a perfect song for them, it’s not boring or played out and if Renjun was a little more stable he probably would’ve even let Johnny spin him. But they choose not to push their luck. </p><p>“I get caught up in your heartstrings,” Johnny sings softly, bowing his head to whisper it directly into Renjun’s ear. Renjun grins, forehead resting on Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny kisses his temple gently. “I love you, Renjun.” </p><p>“I love you too, Johnny,” Renjun replies just as softly. </p><p>Around them their friends start to fill the dance floor as the song trails off into nothing and a different, actually played out wedding song starts playing. Kun is playing Ed Sheeran, surprising to absolutely nobody, and when Renjun glances over his shoulder Yuta already has him by the sleeve, the music going on it’s own. It’s only a matter of time before something really awful, like the Cha Cha Slide or something, starts playing. Renjun clings extra tightly to Johnny and Johnny kisses his forehead gently before pressing their foreheads together, noses brushing. </p><p>“Forever, right?” </p><p>“That’s what I said.” </p><p>“Even if I ask Kun to play One, Two Step and I make Ten do it with me on the dance floor.” </p><p>“I’m gonna be really exasperated but I’m still going to love you. It’s Ten you’ll have to worry about.” </p><p>Johnny kisses him and Renjun moves a hand to hold onto the back of his neck, smiling into the kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
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